Mysterious Stranger wrote:

H1N1 wrote:

Zsenitan wrote:

Yesterday I went to this FEMA emergency planning certification course being offered to animal services volunteers. I know, right?! Someone has to be there to make sure that there are enough lifeboats for all the cats.

There were 30 other cat ladies in the Multnomah County official services building and 4 cat dudes, all white. I mention that they were all white because it's important a little later on and also because it's funny. We all waited for a half hour as the FEMA official and class instructors nervously checked the doors leading to our conference room. A man rushed over to the elevator, disappeared, and came back a few minutes later.

Finally the lead instructor made an announcement: the certification class was cancelled for today. We were locked out of the conference room, nobody had keys or a contact for the keys, and there was no backup plan.

I was standing next to one of the instructors during the announcement, and I mentioned quietly that, you know, it's probably not the most advanced lock in the world, and someone could probably get the door open. You know, like a problem solver might. A person who solves problems might solve this problem that way. Like in a video game except real.

White things happen here:

"Oh, no." He replied. "No we wouldn't want to do that."

Nearby eavesdropping cat lady: "Oh my god, you mean pick the lock?! It's a county building!"
Her friend: "They might send a SWAT team!"

Welp okay guys. So nobody got FEMA certified; class will reconvene in a month.

White things happened... People obeyed the law... If black things happened the laws would get broken and the problem solved. I know you intended to insult white people here but you're really just a common racist.

Not at all. I'm a racist the other way. I think that black people solve problems like these better. This is also known as the 9-11 fallacy, except it's not a fallacy: black dudes are used to thinking of the status quo as something that has no integral merit, so they don't wait to pick locks and leave collapsing buildings.

As most of Caltrops knows, I spent my childhood in the care of nigras. I also was two blocks away from Cabrini Green on 9-11, and I was there in the Cabrini Green Walgreens on 9-12 when the Red Cross was scrambling to set up donation boxes. Further my mother was a disaster recovery executive with a major Chicago bank, so I got both the white and black sides of problem solving. This is all by way of saying: I am entitled and authorized to solve problems as they come up. It's natural that I have respect for people who feel the same way (nigras.)

To be fair, if there were only one or two nigras in the entire group, there wouldn't have been any differences in the way that things happened. But I promise you that in a majority nigra group, that door would have been opened, and nobody would have said any kind of stupid shit about SWAT teams.

ALSO ALSO: no laws would have been broken. The FIMA group had properly reserved the room and picking the lock wouldn't have damaged the door at all. Picking locks is not illegal in the abstract. Pay more attention.

I would deeply enjoy a discussion on race and my changing attitude towards it between ages of 9 and 16. I hope you will reply and give me an excuse to do so.