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by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/21/2009, 4:37am PDT |
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http://www.cracked.com/article_16196_7-commandments-all-video-games-should-obey.html
as far as I am concerned HL2 should be excluded from any list like this no matter what but anyway here is a few I think we can all agree with (unless you are from qt3 in which case your opinion is objectively wrong)
Let's say you sit on your bed one afternoon and, out of boredom, fling playing cards at a hat for two hours straight, just to pass the time. You amuse yourself trying to hit 10 in a row.
Now imagine it's later in the evening and you're about to have sex with your girl. Suddenly she sits up, her boobies hanging out, and says, "Wait! We can't do it until you fling 10 cards into that hat over there! It's a rule in the obscure religion I practice!"
Will you enjoy the card flinging this time? No, and in fact the repetition you found enjoyable before will become maddening, as you flip cards around your frustrated, wilting manhood.
Well some video games are like tossing cards: sports games, fighting games, racing games. The fun is in repeating and practicing them. But other mission-based games are like having sex. There's a specific progression and goal in mind, and repetitive interruption only ruins the mood.
Such as ...
Having to replay levels due to limited save points.
This is a throwback to the arcade/NES days when physical limitations in the system wouldn't allow you to save your progress just anywhere. There is no reason for this now. None. We're busy. We've got work, appointments, phone calls. We shouldn't tolerate an inability to save our progress in any piece of software.
they thoughtfully provide the viewpoint of a qt3 fag in advance for the purpose of destroying:
There are people who say that preventing saves adds to the "tension" of the game. Sure, in the sense that the fact that your 360 could catch on fire at any moment also adds to the tension. Face it, if the only way you can think of to add suspense to your game is to disable a feature of the hardware, then you suck at making games. |
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7 rules all games should obey now by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/21/2009, 4:37am PDT 
Re: 7 rules all games should obey now by Mr. Kool 08/21/2009, 7:26am PDT 
pointlesswasteoftime.com NT by Fullofkittens 08/21/2009, 12:03pm PDT 
Re: 7 rules all games should obey now by i_hate_goons.vbs 08/21/2009, 11:10am PDT 
I think they come out about equal. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/21/2009, 11:13am PDT 
Checkpoint systems are far superior to save-anywhere, design-wise. NT by Gutsby 08/21/2009, 2:14pm PDT 
So the card-flinging is better if you can save after each one that goes in? by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 5:28pm PDT 
Yes, it's way better. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/21/2009, 6:29pm PDT 
Then how come all the best games disallow it? Portal, Dead Rising, Pac-Man CE... by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 7:02pm PDT 
PS why not simply eliminate all penalties for failure? Like in an ADVENTURE game NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 7:04pm PDT 
Portal? NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/21/2009, 7:12pm PDT 
Huh, so you only notice the lack of save-anywhere when you AREN'T having fun? by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 7:17pm PDT 
Also, I hate to make you look stupid, BUT... by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 7:23pm PDT 
Portal has quicksaves, as does HL1 and HL2. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/21/2009, 10:33pm PDT 
I wouldn't know, I never EVEN had to use them v_v by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 10:50pm PDT 
I guess I simply know more about these games then. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/21/2009, 10:54pm PDT 
Yes, you obviously know more about failing at these games. NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 10:56pm PDT 
I finished Portal before you even bought it. 8) NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/21/2009, 11:02pm PDT 
You finished a one-hour game? Colour me impressed. by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 11:09pm PDT 
It took me 15 minutes while you were asleep. 8) NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/21/2009, 11:16pm PDT 
Yeah the Game Genie cheats they have these days are great aren't they? by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 11:26pm PDT 
They have Game Genie for the PC? This is strange information. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/21/2009, 11:51pm PDT 
It seems like all information is strange and new to you. by Jerry Whorebach 08/22/2009, 12:07am PDT 
Sorry, I went to sleep. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/22/2009, 8:54am PDT 
I would never wake a sleeping baby. NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/22/2009, 6:26pm PDT 
no one would keep one around you with your night terrors NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/22/2009, 10:56pm PDT 
You know a lot about parenting for someone who's barren. NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/23/2009, 5:17am PDT 
Impotence is NOT the same thing as being barren NT by Barren Uteri and Scrot Defense Fund 08/23/2009, 12:33pm PDT 
Change your name to Joke Killer. NT by Fussbett 08/23/2009, 12:36pm PDT 
I am indeed not barren NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/23/2009, 1:34pm PDT 
That there is jizz mingled with the tears on his pillow prove this conclusively. NT by motherfuckerfoodeater 08/23/2009, 8:17pm PDT 
Why was Jerry crying? NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/23/2009, 9:11pm PDT 
Jsoh was crying because he found out the title of his memoir was already taken. NT by Lost in the Barrens 08/24/2009, 1:06am PDT 
it is a great title NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/24/2009, 5:00am PDT 
IS THAT THE ONE ABOUT THE HOOKER WITH DYSENTERY? NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/24/2009, 11:57am PDT 
It's not really customary to refer to the person you're replying to in the third NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/24/2009, 11:56am PDT 
portal allows save anywhere, your argument is invalid NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/22/2009, 7:49am PDT 
Like Jhoh's brother ^_^ NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/22/2009, 7:21pm PDT 
GO LIVE SOUTH OF MARKET YER ON WELFARE NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/22/2009, 7:33pm PDT 
Pretty sure I did that with Portal's challenges! by Worm 08/21/2009, 8:22pm PDT 
So what this comes down to is you're bad at games and baby wants his blanket. by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 9:04pm PDT 
Tough talk from a guy who beat my Geowars score by half a point or whatever. by Worm 08/22/2009, 6:20am PDT 
Re: Tough talk from a guy who beat my Geowars score by half a point or whatever. by Mysterious Stranger 08/22/2009, 1:38pm PDT 
This is like arguing Garfield is funny because you can unmap John's dialog. NT by It doesn't work that way, genius. 08/22/2009, 6:20pm PDT 
OH SHIT WHATEVER YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT ONO YOU DINT NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/22/2009, 7:10pm PDT 
you can unmap garfields dialog and it becomes funny, already proven, you are wro NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/22/2009, 10:54pm PDT 
In that case Jim Davis has a book to sell you. OH TOO LATE YOU ALREADY BOUGHT IT NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/23/2009, 5:18am PDT 
Jurry needs a sister to stalk. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/23/2009, 9:28am PDT 
Sorry, but I wouldn't stalk Jsoh's sister (you) with 10,000-metre NVGs [8]( NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/24/2009, 1:02am PDT 
I thought I was being classy, like Billy "Wicked" Mitchell. NT by I grew a beard and everything :,( 08/22/2009, 9:38pm PDT 
You need an American flag tie (you think anyone wants a roundhouse kick to the f NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/22/2009, 10:33pm PDT 
This is a better beard emoticon -- :|)] NT by Or maybe this -- :{)} 08/23/2009, 1:07pm PDT 
Re: So the card-flinging is better if you can save after each one that goes in? by Ice Cream Jonsey 08/21/2009, 9:26pm PDT 
Can we get another blanket over here? by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 10:55pm PDT 
Well, not literal arcade games. Those are outside. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 08/21/2009, 10:58pm PDT 
Oh right, you live in the United States of Grabass, where arcade culture is dead NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 11:11pm PDT 
america is the most advanced culture, yes NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/22/2009, 7:53am PDT 
If by "advanced" you mean "grabastic" then yes, America is advanced. BARELY. NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/22/2009, 6:22pm PDT 
Re: If by "advanced" you mean "grabastic" then yes, America is advanced. BARELY. by Ice Cream Jonsey 08/22/2009, 10:13pm PDT 
Pretty sure you were talking about the grabastic state of arcade culture in the NT by United States of Grabass 08/23/2009, 5:13am PDT 
Oh! There was an important clue as to why I was not talking about that by Ice Cream Jonsey 08/23/2009, 2:00pm PDT 
Among other things. NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/24/2009, 1:09am PDT 
jerry discovers /b/ NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/22/2009, 11:03pm PDT 
I'm a regular Marco Polo compared to you 8) NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/23/2009, 5:15am PDT 
I agree with ICJ about all of this, up until I dunno sports or text games by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/22/2009, 8:12am PDT 
Surprise, the "save anywhere" argument is also ... somehow about WoW? NT by Worm 08/22/2009, 8:31am PDT 
bringing up a related subject when talking about that subject? whu.... WHAAAAAA NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/22/2009, 8:56am PDT 
zero degrees of seperation, the cable family game NT by Worm 08/23/2009, 1:07pm PDT 
What is wrom mad about this time? NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/22/2009, 9:09am PDT 
My worldview is looking pretty sweet, right now (also: the rest of the time) by Ray of Light 08/22/2009, 3:22pm PDT 
You do nothing but play 2fort on the same server all day. :( NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/22/2009, 3:28pm PDT 
And Scrabble and poker. Just one more thing (two more things) you got wrong. NT by Ray of Light 08/22/2009, 7:45pm PDT 
You play them online, your kids are one crutch away from a telethon, you got a f NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/22/2009, 8:30pm PDT 
wow scrabble NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/22/2009, 10:55pm PDT 
WoW Scrabble: endorsed by Jsoh, just $14.99/mo. (I play the free java version) NT by Ray of Light 08/23/2009, 5:15am PDT 
We play Warhammer and it's better than Scrabble by a lot. 8) NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/23/2009, 9:27am PDT 
Oh sweet, a monthly fee! Did you get unlimited text messaging? NT by Ray of Light 08/23/2009, 11:36am PDT 
no, that is a cheap gimmick used to fool people who play gay board games like sc NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/23/2009, 1:36pm PDT 
YOU may be susceptible to cheapness and/or gimmickry! Take this simple quiz. by Ray of Light 08/23/2009, 6:27pm PDT 
DEATH IN VIDEOGAMES by Fussbett 08/22/2009, 2:44pm PDT 
Of course these days we know the answer is "three men" by Jerry Whorebach 08/22/2009, 9:15pm PDT 
In Fable 2 I was the three men with one lifebar. NT by Worm 08/23/2009, 2:23pm PDT 
OBJECTION: there are life bars in all fighting games and they are a good idea! by Zsenitan 08/23/2009, 2:47pm PDT 
You're missing the crucial difference between life bars and lives. by Fullofkittens 08/23/2009, 8:11pm PDT 
both concepts are pretty much obsolete now that games are on consoles by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/24/2009, 5:03am PDT 
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