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7 rules all games should obey now by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/21/2009, 4:37am PDT
http://www.cracked.com/article_16196_7-commandments-all-video-games-should-obey.html

as far as I am concerned HL2 should be excluded from any list like this no matter what but anyway here is a few I think we can all agree with (unless you are from qt3 in which case your opinion is objectively wrong)

Let's say you sit on your bed one afternoon and, out of boredom, fling playing cards at a hat for two hours straight, just to pass the time. You amuse yourself trying to hit 10 in a row.

Now imagine it's later in the evening and you're about to have sex with your girl. Suddenly she sits up, her boobies hanging out, and says, "Wait! We can't do it until you fling 10 cards into that hat over there! It's a rule in the obscure religion I practice!"

Will you enjoy the card flinging this time? No, and in fact the repetition you found enjoyable before will become maddening, as you flip cards around your frustrated, wilting manhood.

Well some video games are like tossing cards: sports games, fighting games, racing games. The fun is in repeating and practicing them. But other mission-based games are like having sex. There's a specific progression and goal in mind, and repetitive interruption only ruins the mood.

Such as ...

Having to replay levels due to limited save points.

This is a throwback to the arcade/NES days when physical limitations in the system wouldn't allow you to save your progress just anywhere. There is no reason for this now. None. We're busy. We've got work, appointments, phone calls. We shouldn't tolerate an inability to save our progress in any piece of software.


they thoughtfully provide the viewpoint of a qt3 fag in advance for the purpose of destroying:

There are people who say that preventing saves adds to the "tension" of the game. Sure, in the sense that the fact that your 360 could catch on fire at any moment also adds to the tension. Face it, if the only way you can think of to add suspense to your game is to disable a feature of the hardware, then you suck at making games.
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7 rules all games should obey now by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/21/2009, 4:37am PDT NEW
    Re: 7 rules all games should obey now by Mr. Kool 08/21/2009, 7:26am PDT NEW
        pointlesswasteoftime.com NT by Fullofkittens 08/21/2009, 12:03pm PDT NEW
    Re: 7 rules all games should obey now by i_hate_goons.vbs 08/21/2009, 11:10am PDT NEW
        I think they come out about equal. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/21/2009, 11:13am PDT NEW
    Checkpoint systems are far superior to save-anywhere, design-wise. NT by Gutsby 08/21/2009, 2:14pm PDT NEW
    So the card-flinging is better if you can save after each one that goes in? by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 5:28pm PDT NEW
        Yes, it's way better. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/21/2009, 6:29pm PDT NEW
            Then how come all the best games disallow it? Portal, Dead Rising, Pac-Man CE... by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 7:02pm PDT NEW
                PS why not simply eliminate all penalties for failure? Like in an ADVENTURE game NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 7:04pm PDT NEW
                Portal? NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/21/2009, 7:12pm PDT NEW
                    Huh, so you only notice the lack of save-anywhere when you AREN'T having fun? by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 7:17pm PDT NEW
                    Also, I hate to make you look stupid, BUT... by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 7:23pm PDT NEW
                        Portal has quicksaves, as does HL1 and HL2. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/21/2009, 10:33pm PDT NEW
                            I wouldn't know, I never EVEN had to use them v_v by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 10:50pm PDT NEW
                                I guess I simply know more about these games then. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/21/2009, 10:54pm PDT NEW
                                    Yes, you obviously know more about failing at these games. NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 10:56pm PDT NEW
                                        I finished Portal before you even bought it. 8) NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/21/2009, 11:02pm PDT NEW
                                            You finished a one-hour game? Colour me impressed. by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 11:09pm PDT NEW
                                                It took me 15 minutes while you were asleep. 8) NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/21/2009, 11:16pm PDT NEW
                                                    Yeah the Game Genie cheats they have these days are great aren't they? by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 11:26pm PDT NEW
                                                        They have Game Genie for the PC? This is strange information. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/21/2009, 11:51pm PDT NEW
                                                            It seems like all information is strange and new to you. by Jerry Whorebach 08/22/2009, 12:07am PDT NEW
                                                                Sorry, I went to sleep. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/22/2009, 8:54am PDT NEW
                                                                    I would never wake a sleeping baby. NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/22/2009, 6:26pm PDT NEW
                                                                        no one would keep one around you with your night terrors NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/22/2009, 10:56pm PDT NEW
                                                                            You know a lot about parenting for someone who's barren. NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/23/2009, 5:17am PDT NEW
                                                                                Impotence is NOT the same thing as being barren NT by Barren Uteri and Scrot Defense Fund 08/23/2009, 12:33pm PDT NEW
                                                                                    Change your name to Joke Killer. NT by Fussbett 08/23/2009, 12:36pm PDT NEW
                                                                                    I am indeed not barren NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/23/2009, 1:34pm PDT NEW
                                                                                        That there is jizz mingled with the tears on his pillow prove this conclusively. NT by motherfuckerfoodeater 08/23/2009, 8:17pm PDT NEW
                                                                                            Why was Jerry crying? NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/23/2009, 9:11pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                Jsoh was crying because he found out the title of his memoir was already taken. NT by Lost in the Barrens 08/24/2009, 1:06am PDT NEW
                                                                                                    it is a great title NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/24/2009, 5:00am PDT NEW
                                                                                                        IS THAT THE ONE ABOUT THE HOOKER WITH DYSENTERY? NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/24/2009, 11:57am PDT NEW
                                                                                                    It's not really customary to refer to the person you're replying to in the third NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/24/2009, 11:56am PDT NEW
                portal allows save anywhere, your argument is invalid NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/22/2009, 7:49am PDT NEW
                    Like Jhoh's brother ^_^ NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/22/2009, 7:21pm PDT NEW
                        GO LIVE SOUTH OF MARKET YER ON WELFARE NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/22/2009, 7:33pm PDT NEW
        Pretty sure I did that with Portal's challenges! by Worm 08/21/2009, 8:22pm PDT NEW
            So what this comes down to is you're bad at games and baby wants his blanket. by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 9:04pm PDT NEW
                Tough talk from a guy who beat my Geowars score by half a point or whatever. by Worm 08/22/2009, 6:20am PDT NEW
                    Re: Tough talk from a guy who beat my Geowars score by half a point or whatever. by Mysterious Stranger 08/22/2009, 1:38pm PDT NEW
                        This is like arguing Garfield is funny because you can unmap John's dialog. NT by It doesn't work that way, genius. 08/22/2009, 6:20pm PDT NEW
                            OH SHIT WHATEVER YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT ONO YOU DINT NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/22/2009, 7:10pm PDT NEW
                            you can unmap garfields dialog and it becomes funny, already proven, you are wro NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/22/2009, 10:54pm PDT NEW
                                In that case Jim Davis has a book to sell you. OH TOO LATE YOU ALREADY BOUGHT IT NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/23/2009, 5:18am PDT NEW
                                    Jurry needs a sister to stalk. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/23/2009, 9:28am PDT NEW
                                        Sorry, but I wouldn't stalk Jsoh's sister (you) with 10,000-metre NVGs [8]( NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/24/2009, 1:02am PDT NEW
                    I thought I was being classy, like Billy "Wicked" Mitchell. NT by I grew a beard and everything :,( 08/22/2009, 9:38pm PDT NEW
                        You need an American flag tie (you think anyone wants a roundhouse kick to the f NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/22/2009, 10:33pm PDT NEW
                        This is a better beard emoticon -- :|)] NT by Or maybe this -- :{)} 08/23/2009, 1:07pm PDT NEW
        Re: So the card-flinging is better if you can save after each one that goes in? by Ice Cream Jonsey 08/21/2009, 9:26pm PDT NEW
            Can we get another blanket over here? by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 10:55pm PDT NEW
                Well, not literal arcade games. Those are outside. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 08/21/2009, 10:58pm PDT NEW
                    Oh right, you live in the United States of Grabass, where arcade culture is dead NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/21/2009, 11:11pm PDT NEW
                        america is the most advanced culture, yes NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/22/2009, 7:53am PDT NEW
                            If by "advanced" you mean "grabastic" then yes, America is advanced. BARELY. NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/22/2009, 6:22pm PDT NEW
                                Re: If by "advanced" you mean "grabastic" then yes, America is advanced. BARELY. by Ice Cream Jonsey 08/22/2009, 10:13pm PDT NEW
                                    Pretty sure you were talking about the grabastic state of arcade culture in the NT by United States of Grabass 08/23/2009, 5:13am PDT NEW
                                        Oh! There was an important clue as to why I was not talking about that by Ice Cream Jonsey 08/23/2009, 2:00pm PDT NEW
                                            Among other things. NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/24/2009, 1:09am PDT NEW
                                jerry discovers /b/ NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/22/2009, 11:03pm PDT NEW
                                    I'm a regular Marco Polo compared to you 8) NT by Jerry Whorebach 08/23/2009, 5:15am PDT NEW
            I agree with ICJ about all of this, up until I dunno sports or text games by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/22/2009, 8:12am PDT NEW
                Surprise, the "save anywhere" argument is also ... somehow about WoW? NT by Worm 08/22/2009, 8:31am PDT NEW
                    bringing up a related subject when talking about that subject? whu.... WHAAAAAA NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/22/2009, 8:56am PDT NEW
                        zero degrees of seperation, the cable family game NT by Worm 08/23/2009, 1:07pm PDT NEW
                    What is wrom mad about this time? NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/22/2009, 9:09am PDT NEW
                My worldview is looking pretty sweet, right now (also: the rest of the time) by Ray of Light 08/22/2009, 3:22pm PDT NEW
                    You do nothing but play 2fort on the same server all day. :( NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/22/2009, 3:28pm PDT NEW
                        And Scrabble and poker. Just one more thing (two more things) you got wrong. NT by Ray of Light 08/22/2009, 7:45pm PDT NEW
                            You play them online, your kids are one crutch away from a telethon, you got a f NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/22/2009, 8:30pm PDT NEW
                            wow scrabble NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/22/2009, 10:55pm PDT NEW
                                WoW Scrabble: endorsed by Jsoh, just $14.99/mo. (I play the free java version) NT by Ray of Light 08/23/2009, 5:15am PDT NEW
                                    We play Warhammer and it's better than Scrabble by a lot. 8) NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/23/2009, 9:27am PDT NEW
                                        Oh sweet, a monthly fee! Did you get unlimited text messaging? NT by Ray of Light 08/23/2009, 11:36am PDT NEW
                                            no, that is a cheap gimmick used to fool people who play gay board games like sc NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/23/2009, 1:36pm PDT NEW
                                                YOU may be susceptible to cheapness and/or gimmickry! Take this simple quiz. by Ray of Light 08/23/2009, 6:27pm PDT NEW
        DEATH IN VIDEOGAMES by Fussbett 08/22/2009, 2:44pm PDT NEW
            Of course these days we know the answer is "three men" by Jerry Whorebach 08/22/2009, 9:15pm PDT NEW
                In Fable 2 I was the three men with one lifebar. NT by Worm 08/23/2009, 2:23pm PDT NEW
                OBJECTION: there are life bars in all fighting games and they are a good idea! by Zsenitan 08/23/2009, 2:47pm PDT NEW
                    You're missing the crucial difference between life bars and lives. by Fullofkittens 08/23/2009, 8:11pm PDT NEW
                        both concepts are pretty much obsolete now that games are on consoles by Weyoun Voidbringer 08/24/2009, 5:03am PDT NEW
 
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