Re: Part II: more of thisby Black Phillip 06/06/2012, 10:16pm PDT
laudablepuss wrote:
We stop at her place (first date!) to put leftovers in the refrigerator and I kiss her. High fives everybody! At the bar, over drinks, she has her hand on my knee occasionally. And yet, no sex.
Later, when I told this story, I made her out to be trying to make her ex boyfriend jealous, and then ended up going back to him. I don't believe this is true, however, although it saves my pride. We hung out a lot, and she made me dinner and I massaged her legs and back (soreness from skiing), to be rewarded with her falling limply and happily into my arms. She said to take it slow though, so, okay. For a brief while, she began to strongly resemble a girlfriend, including hanging on my arm when we were out with friends. But then, slow turned into stop, when she told me . . . what the hell did she tell me. That she was talking to her ex, and wasn't sure what to do yet. So we still hung out but now nothing was happening. But she got promoted during this period, so I got her flowers. She seemed really surprised by this -- I've never before or since gotten someone flowers, and it seemed like she'd never received them. But that was basically the end, she went back to her ex, and now they're married and have several kids.
Look, there are a couple of different things going on here, but luckily neither of them are that complicated or difficult to untangle.
1) BE A FUCKING MAN.
The difference between you and this guy is that she liked you at first, but then you went all limp on her and her pussy dried the fuck up. So it's better in that hot girls are attracted to you, but worse in that you can't close the deal.
You are the man. That means you make the first move. You escalate situations. You're the one who applies continuous, gentle pressure until she says stop. If you're waiting for a girl to tell you it's okay to kiss her or finger her or fuck her before you do anything...this is the result. You'll mope and pine and sigh and be her emotional sponge while she waits for you to make a move. When she finally gets tired of waiting, she'll find/go back to a man who is assertive enough to MAKE HER FEEL LIKE A WOMAN.
Understand the value of your time. Make her understand the value of your time. Act accordingly.
2) UNDERSTAND THE GAME.
The most basic game, the game you have to master if you want to have a chance of digging yourself out of this hole, is called "You care about me more than I care about you." When you contextualize a bitch's actions within the framework of this game, a lot of these actions and attitudes suddenly start to make a lot more sense. Women understand this game instinctively, but they tend to overplay their hands and end up disrespecting you in one form or another. This is when the power shifts to you, if you're prepared to take it.
In your case, these bitches are telling you that they're talking to their exes. Telling you! To your face! They want a reaction out of you. If you blow up and start tossing furniture left and right, she'll know she can control you via jealousy. If you meekly sit there and accept it, then she'll know she can control you because you're scared of losing her. So what you need to do is react in a way that tells her that you recognize her gambit and that it's not going to work. Sometimes that means calling her bluff, sometimes it means calling her out. Depends on you and the quality of game you spit and it depends on her and how dumb she may or may not be.
I'm not going to lie: you're going to lose some girls. They're going to go back to their exes or whatever dumb shit they've challenged you with. But you'll keep some too, and even a .250 or .500 average is better than the .000 you're currently batting.
Look. You're a man in your mid-30s with no kids, no ex-wife. You have OPTIONS. You have POWER. Women in their mid-30s have neither. The tiny sliver of hope that represents their window of marriage and/or children closes a little more with every sunrise. You, on the other hand, can marry a girl in her late 20s/early 30s when you're 50, provided you're positioned correctly. Recognize this power and ACT ACCORDINGLY. I promise you that you'll see a positive response from women immediately.
