 |
||
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
| Is having played something from this year a requirement? Because that would by totally disqualify me. 12/18/2013, 5:23am PST | ||||
 |
 |
|||
| My GOTY 2013 is Forza Motorsport 4, probably the single most technically impressive game I've played in my life. It has the deepest, most consistently engaging driving model, the cleanest, most appealingly functional graphics, and the best selection of real and fictional courses in any Xbox 360 racing game to date. It also has the second most boring single-player mode I've ever made the questionable decision to slog through (second only to Forza 3, of course, which was just miserable on every possible level). The cynical crippling of such near perfect moment to moment gameplay with such a tedious and unsatisfying metagame has made me despise gaming, gamers, and especially game developers far more than simply buying an outright broken game ever could. Three stars out of five, will destroy your faith in humanity, go back to Forza 2 and forget the last six years ever happened.
My runner-up for GOTY 2013 is Virtua Fighter 5, which also suffered from a weak career mode, albeit not to the same extent (also it's a fighting game so you kind of expect it). Perhaps what that one idiot said was right, the single-player video game was a historical anomaly, that era is behind us now? Or maybe I've just not played enough games this year to find the really good ones? I think I only managed eight, nine if you count The Walking Dead (which you really shouldn't). I'm going to call a Hail Mary and try to squeeze in Castle of Illusion over the holiday. If all the time I spent this year watching the Disney Channel on my awesome new HDTV has taught me anything, it's that Christmas Miracles are always happening to handsome guys who believe in Mickey Mouse! Also, if whoever's in charge of writing the Lifetime Original Movie that is my actual life asks, the reason I'm so alone is because my wife died of fanny cancer and I never learned to love again, not because there's something very wrong with me and the way I think about women. |
||||
 |
 |
|||
|
Game of the year? by 12/16/2013, 5:30pm PST  Aces Wild by 12/16/2013, 7:47pm PST I think God Hand bashing was patient zero in by 12/16/2013, 8:29pm PST Is having played something from this year a requirement? Because that would by 12/18/2013, 5:23am PST There's definitely something wrong with how you think about women! by 12/18/2013, 9:17am PST |
