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| Disagree by Brody Wilder 03/14/2020, 10:38am PDT | ||||
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| I'm going to preface this by admitting that yes, I am a racist. It's always been my dream to open a candy store in Harlem, just so I can treat black children with contempt. But I'm also on record as saying that first Thor movie would've been better if the viking gods were all black. It certainly couldn't've been any worse, and it would've made the scene where Tom Hiddleston found out he was adopted way funnier. So I think I'm capable of panning Black Panther objectively.
I always love the part in black movies where they complain about the C-I-A. I have my own issues with the CIA that I'm not going to get into here, but let's just say me and the blacks are on the same page on that one. Black Panther is the first black movie I can remember to go "not all CIA agents" and include a heroic, subservient CIA guy to balance out the very justified criticism. That's because Black Panther isn't a black movie, it's a corporate movie with a black cast. Look at the message of the film. Be a peacemaker, like Martin Luther King, not a terrorist like Malcolm X. That was already the message of X-Men! It's also a really stupid message. If I wrote a letter to the black community telling them to stop trying to use the white man's own tragically effective domination tactics against us, and instead focus on building up their own communities while treating us with love and respect, they probably wouldn't even publish it. But Disney can hire black filmmakers to say the same damn thing and suddenly all's forgiven for Song of the South. I guess jobs is jobs? Getting back to the nice guy CIA agent, I know you had a problem with his American accent, but I thought it was one of the less offensive examples in the film. That Wakandan accent wasn't even a real accent, it was just over-enunciated English spoken really, really slowly. Like they couldn't trust the audience to understand an authentic African accent, or even follow a conversation at normal speed. The only cast member who seemed like he was really going for it with his accent was Forest Whitaker, and I figure that's only because no one from Disney had the balls to tell him to tone it down. The whole movie was slow and simple-English, way too in love with its own CGI. Wakanda looked like a cutscene from Civilization. The weightless catfight on the levitating train tracks was the worst ending for one of these since Thor 2. The Grace Jones chicks were pretty cool, I would've liked to see a whole movie about them. Same with his snarky scientist sister. Basically anyone besides Black Thor. Did you get M.A.N.T.I.S. flashbacks from his flying car? M.A.N.T.I.S. wasn't great, either. |
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