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| You forgot to mention the part where the action scenes were boring by Rafiki 09/26/2004, 12:06pm PDT | ||||
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| We had a man in this movie, but not just any man. This man was captain of the entire sky. Think about that for a minute. I don't know what kind of prerequisites earning such a title has, but I don't imagine the military or government or invisible faction of the Illuminati hands out those kind of rankings like Crackerjacks. I would assume that the only way to earn that title would be through acts of heroism and kicking enormous amounts of ass. Ok, we got the hero part, he saved the world. Hooray. But rather than annihilating the robot hordes with the immense power of his giant man-boner, Sky Captain just kind of flew around a lot.
Giant cool looking retro robots attacking the city? This looks like a job for Sky Captain! So he just trips one. The end. Flying robot airplanes attacking the base? This looks like a job for Sky Captain! "Wait, don't shoot any." OK, LET'S HAVE A BORING CHASE SCENE WHERE WOMEN CAN'T GIVE DIRECTIONS LOL! Diving underwater where giant robots are lurking about? Let's just weave through them and try not to do anything cool. I got the feeling Sky Captain became Sky Captain just because he got the keys to the plane with the mouth on it. When describing this movie, the old comic books would probably print "GRIPPING!" in that kind of striking half-arc of text, except they'd be completely wrong and children would cry after seeing it having lost faith in everything they believed was good and true. Yeah, that's right, Sky Captain hates children. I probably wouldn't go so far as to call it completely terrible, but I was definitely underwhelmed. |
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