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by Quétinbec 03/25/2008, 9:13pm PDT |
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...because I'm fucking it up and need help.
My Dad got me a market operator/stockbroker job with a merchant bank. I now have many, many problems and have been crying, but here is a problem you can help me with!
My CV lists my most recent job as 'web designer' 2006-2007 in New Delhi, India. I took that job on the expectation I could learn enough HTML on the flight over to get by for a few weeks. I didn't care if I got fired because the pay was shit and I only took the job because all the cool people in India are working or volunteering. I managed to stay employed for two months by describing what I was working on to my boss and 'working from home' as much as possible. I was the first white person she'd employed so she was scared of me, which also helped me last as long as I did. After a few months when it became blindingly obvious I was useless, she didn't have the balls to fire me in person, so she just stopped paying me and didn't answer my calls. That was fine. I went travelling with a Romanian girl who'd also quit her job and who later broke my heart.
Anyway, the people at my current important job are fast discovering I know fuck all about ANY financial market and are trying to get me away from money and into a web development role. This would be fine with me at least temporarily because, as it stands, I'm fucking up and freaking out, BUT... I know even less about web development (however I still have the nerve to consider it faggot's work and beneath me).
At the very least I'll have to liaise with the web development guys, on Friday at the latest, and I'm sure I'm sure they'll quickly pick up on lack of knowledge and pass it on to everyone else and I'll feel like a fucking loser.
SO!
What I know: I did put together a web page in India but I had a hard time aligning things and I never got it hosted. I know what CSS stands for.
What I'd like to know: what to avoid talking about with someone who knows things about web development, and what I won't be able to avoid talking about. What is the best thing I can spend a few hours reading so I can pretend to understand what people are saying? One word that has come up quite often is 'database'. Would your average web developer know anything about them? Can I get away with saying I don't know much about that without sounding like an amateur?
I'll probably have lots of questions in the future because I also told them I can program and they're suggesting I write an extension for some scary looking financial application IN MY SPARE TIME BETWEEN CLIENTS!!!
I think it's time to start hating music. |
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I have the best new job! It's better than yours but now is no time to boast!... by Quétinbec 03/25/2008, 9:13pm PDT 
They'll see right through you, give up. by Last 03/25/2008, 9:38pm PDT
Re: They'll see right through you, give up. by Quétinbec 03/27/2008, 12:55am PDT
QB is not impressed by an "obscene amount of money". Any old father has that. NT by Fussbett 03/27/2008, 10:03am PDT
Constant rotting fish stench, hairy-legged whores... now THOSE is impressive. NT by Last 03/27/2008, 10:09am PDT
Weak complaints! Give it more thought. NT by Quétinbec 03/27/2008, 4:25pm PDT
You want me to make your case for you? by Last 03/27/2008, 7:39pm PDT
Re: I have the best new job! It's better than yours but now is no time to boast! by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/25/2008, 11:25pm PDT
Play to your strengths: procure whores for them by I need clarification 03/25/2008, 11:58pm PDT
I'll be kinder than INC by Fussbett 03/26/2008, 1:35am PDT
Re: I'll be kinder than INC by Quétinbec 03/27/2008, 1:07am PDT
just say your role focused on asset gathering and requirements gathering NT by you idiot 03/27/2008, 9:50am PDT
Re: I'll be kinder than INC by Fussbett 03/27/2008, 10:12am PDT
Here's a comment that might sound prejudiced (racist) by Fullofkittens 03/27/2008, 3:59pm PDT
wait, is this job in India or somewhere else? NT by Fullofkittens 03/27/2008, 4:01pm PDT
Who the fuck needs help getting work in India? I need help lying about it. by Quétinbec 03/27/2008, 4:28pm PDT
Well, Satyam would make a lot of money, maybe not you. NT by Fullofkittens 03/27/2008, 5:27pm PDT
Quentin Beck you are but a click away from owing me bigtime by Ray of Light 03/26/2008, 11:29am PDT
I would agree with you if he was going for an interview, which he's not. NT by Fussbett 03/26/2008, 1:04pm PDT
Thanks Ray. Will read that man. NT by Quétinbec 03/27/2008, 1:08am PDT
I think there is reason for guarded optimism. by motherfuckerfoodeater 03/26/2008, 11:39am PDT
Re: I think there is reason for guarded optimism. by Quétinbec 03/27/2008, 1:21am PDT
You will live your dream, your dream of living in Hong Kong. NT by I believe in YOU. 03/27/2008, 9:52am PDT
Hong Kong: the best 7 million people on Earth? by Fussbett 03/27/2008, 10:15am PDT
Would you settle for a yurt in Sheepfuckistan? NT by Fortinbras 03/27/2008, 2:56pm PDT
Re: Hong Kong: the best 7 million people on Earth? by Quétinbec 03/27/2008, 4:31pm PDT
Re: Hong Kong: the best 7 million people on Earth? by Mischief Maker 03/27/2008, 4:37pm PDT
Re: Hong Kong: the best 7 million people on Earth? by Ed Gein 03/29/2008, 10:58am PDT
Heretical.com is normally such a reliable source... by Fussbett 03/30/2008, 12:36am PDT
SAM GAMGEE NT by Jerry Whorebach 03/30/2008, 11:25am PDT
SAM GAMGEE NT by directed by FRUIT CHAN 04/07/2008, 7:24am PDT
Speaking of that! by Fullofkittens 03/30/2008, 12:07pm PDT
Re: Hong Kong: the best 7 million people on Earth? by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 03/28/2008, 6:44pm PDT
Aligning web pages is fairly difficult, I wouldn't beat yourself up about that NT by Harry Knowles 03/26/2008, 1:14pm PDT
I wish someone would help me with my web site business! by Polar Bear 03/26/2008, 1:33pm PDT
I got hired based on a pathological resume once. by bink 03/27/2008, 12:08pm PDT
WRKSYSVAL by McMoo knows that too 03/28/2008, 9:56am PDT
Their payroll, something-or-another system was all custom written. by bink 03/28/2008, 2:31pm PDT
Re: I have the best new job! It's better than yours but now is no time to boast! by Zsenitan 03/27/2008, 5:37pm PDT
Fuck you Zseni. by Quétinbec 04/03/2008, 11:35pm PDT
What if QB announced his adulthood to the world NT by And the world didn't give a fuck? 04/04/2008, 12:30am PDT
You mean like this? by Mischief Maker 04/04/2008, 1:34pm PDT
Re: Fuck you Zseni. by Zsenitan wins! 04/04/2008, 12:04pm PDT
Re: Fuck you Zseni. by Quétinbec 04/04/2008, 6:10pm PDT
Re: Fuck you Zseni. by Zsenitan 04/04/2008, 7:35pm PDT
How many law schools did you actually go to? I mean, personally. NT by Jerry Whorebach 04/04/2008, 8:16pm PDT
Incompetents vs. competents SHOWDOWN by Zsenitan 04/04/2008, 8:33pm PDT
http://www.caltrops.com/pointy.php?action=viewPost&pid=77327 NT by Jerry Whorebach 04/04/2008, 8:36pm PDT
Sexy photos, please! by Quétinbec 04/05/2008, 7:55pm PDT
you really don't look that skinny by bombMexico 04/05/2008, 8:27pm PDT
Whore memories by Quétinbec 04/06/2008, 7:51pm PDT
this mirror is my kindred NT by Zseni's carpet 04/06/2008, 9:06pm PDT
Whore broke snake bottle :( by Quentin Beck 04/07/2008, 6:35am PDT
more pictures of you beating off to yourself while filming plz :( by bombMexico 04/08/2008, 12:45am PDT
Re: Sexy photos, please! by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 04/05/2008, 9:34pm PDT
Your wishes answered! by Zsenitan 04/06/2008, 11:39pm PDT
Posting pics of oneself: cowardice. Hiding behind an A&F model: SO BRAVE by Last 04/07/2008, 9:23am PDT
Those pictures are of you? Mine was of me. And we both have just as much by evidence on the ground. 04/07/2008, 11:00am PDT
wait, you think it was QB that tried to get her fired for being a racist? NT by suckers 04/07/2008, 11:38am PDT
Re: Your wishes answered! by Quentin Beck 04/07/2008, 9:35am PDT
Re: Your wishes answered! by evidence on the ground. 04/07/2008, 11:04am PDT
MOM? DAD?! WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING?! WHY CAN'T WE JUST BE ONE BIG HAPPY NT by WHORE-BONING PORN-SPAMMING FAMILY?! 04/07/2008, 11:36am PDT
hey, I want in on this by Mysterio 04/07/2008, 11:38am PDT
Re: hey, I want in on this by Zsenitan 04/07/2008, 11:51am PDT
It's a little late to be setting boundaries =( NT by Fortinbras 04/07/2008, 1:01pm PDT
It's odd that she would object to something at this stage. NT by Fortinbrasbot 04/07/2008, 1:09pm PDT
Re: It's a little late to be setting boundaries =( by Souffle of Pain 04/07/2008, 2:35pm PDT
veronica's real name isn't even veronica? by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 04/07/2008, 2:38pm PDT
Re: veronica's real name isn't even veronica? by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/07/2008, 4:12pm PDT
She was bipolar too. by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 04/07/2008, 5:09pm PDT
Don't forget that at first he told everyone it was veroinca's fault. NT by Mischief Maker 04/07/2008, 2:59pm PDT
So sb shitstormed bdr on AIM just to keep up the ploy. by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 04/07/2008, 3:00pm PDT
Huh? by laudablepuss 04/07/2008, 3:31pm PDT
Please people this is about me and Quentin Beck and that other person by Mysterio 04/07/2008, 3:35pm PDT
Explain it to laudablepuss, AS YOU WOULD A CHILD. by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 04/07/2008, 4:00pm PDT
Re: Huh? by Souffle of Pain 04/07/2008, 4:05pm PDT
I don't know Umberto, but he WAS in the Capitol Steps. NT by Last 04/07/2008, 4:24pm PDT
Umberto was from gamer's angst as far as I know. by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 04/07/2008, 5:10pm PDT
He was the funniest of the OMM Old Guard. by Mischief Maker 04/07/2008, 7:16pm PDT
What? NT by Mischief Maker 04/07/2008, 6:22pm PDT
I know! NT by laudablepuss 04/07/2008, 6:33pm PDT
Lost. Confused. Posting anyways. NT by Fortinbras 04/07/2008, 10:38pm PDT
LOOK OUT FOR THE EVIDENCE ON THE GROUND *dives away before it explodes* NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 04/07/2008, 11:59am PDT
Well, well, well! by Quétinbec 04/07/2008, 6:53pm PDT
Re: Well, well, well! by Mischief Maker 04/07/2008, 7:47pm PDT
Re: Well, well, well! by evidence on the ground. 04/07/2008, 8:58pm PDT
ator NT by ha ha 04/07/2008, 10:32pm PDT
No, it's not. by evidence on the ground. 04/08/2008, 5:55am PDT
your name is only slightly worse than by I Need Clarification 04/08/2008, 9:02am PDT
That's exactly what an ator is. So........................... NT by ha ha 04/08/2008, 9:21am PDT
No, an Ator requires that you have been posing as a different person. NT by Mischief Makers 04/08/2008, 9:40am PDT
Often an imaginary person, Bananadine for instance. NT by Jerry Whorebach 04/08/2008, 10:09am PDT
Re: No, an Ator requires that you have been posing as a different person. by ha ha 04/08/2008, 11:14am PDT
Re: No, an Ator requires that you have been posing as a different person. by evidence on the ground. 04/08/2008, 11:55am PDT
Explaining how the message board rules work is very Qt3, both of you NT by I need clarification 04/08/2008, 4:10pm PDT
Except still not quite as gay as qt3. NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 04/08/2008, 4:20pm PDT
I'll take over by Backup whore poster 04/07/2008, 9:00pm PDT
Re: I'll take over by motherfuckerfoodeater 04/07/2008, 11:03pm PDT
Re: I'll take over by Backup whore poster 04/07/2008, 11:08pm PDT
OKAY I WILL RETIRE OR ASTOUND YOU AGAIN NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 04/08/2008, 12:43am PDT
Not so good, Zseni. by Quétinbec 04/08/2008, 6:39pm PDT
True, that kind of behavior was more in-line with Omega Supreme NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/08/2008, 6:49pm PDT
You're wrong about it being Zseni and you're starting to make me sad. :( by Backup whore poster 04/08/2008, 7:40pm PDT
Re: You're wrong about it being Zseni and you're starting to make me sad. :( by Quétinbec 04/09/2008, 8:06pm PDT
I'm serious, but I think I'm done. Fuck you for destroying what you say you love NT by Backup whore poster 04/09/2008, 8:56pm PDT
Jesus fucking christ, I can't get over this shit!!! by Backup whore poster 04/09/2008, 11:15pm PDT
The drama and sobbing has gotten a lot better lately. NT by laudablepuss 04/10/2008, 12:29am PDT
Can somebody just recap this? Maybe write a review? by Fortinbras 04/10/2008, 12:32am PDT
THE STORY SO FAR by Ice Cream Jonsey ITSO Wikipedia 04/10/2008, 1:16am PDT
*honest life assessment high fives* NT by Zsenitan 04/10/2008, 1:21am PDT
You missed the best parts: TWO (more) high school dropping out admissions. NT by Fussbett 04/10/2008, 2:21am PDT
Re: THE STORY SO FAR by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 04/10/2008, 2:23am PDT
Re: THE STORY SO FAR by motherfuckerfoodeater 04/10/2008, 11:54am PDT
Re: THE STORY SO FAR by bombMexico 04/11/2008, 12:13am PDT
Like the Krogan, too much alike to work towards a common goal by bombMexico 04/10/2008, 2:23am PDT
I'd hit it. NT by Tony 04/07/2008, 3:48am PDT
Re: I have the best new job! It's better than yours but now is no time to boast! by motherfuckerfoodeater 03/30/2008, 1:30pm PDT
He's busy moving to Hong Kong. NT by Fussbett 03/31/2008, 12:48am PDT
Or a country with a policy of non-extradition NT by Fortinbras 03/31/2008, 12:52am PDT
nah, I got them fellas too! by Bush 03/31/2008, 1:19am PDT
Whatever happened to QB? NT by Not QB 12/22/2013, 10:44pm PST
Tested positive for HIV, arrested trying to sneak back into Bahrain, executed NT by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 12/22/2013, 11:13pm PST
It's sad that this is probably the prediction most in line with his behavior NT by WITTGENSTEIN 12/23/2013, 7:19am PST
Wasn't he just Jerry? NT by fabio 12/23/2013, 12:20am PST
He had to move to smaller and smaller forums in search of gullible audience. by Last 12/23/2013, 4:53am PST
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