sa fag wrote:

I'll name the place a week or so in advance; no cuisines will be eaten consecutively; i.e. nothing the same two Eats in a row. For example, if we do Thai one meet we won't be doing anything Thai the next week, more likely Euro.

Also we're looking to sample the more exotic foods as well, but it doesn't leave out good ol' American food so long as it's tastefully done.

So here are some guidelines intended to promote a great goon experience:

• There will be no SA Eats at Nobu, Union Square, Elaine's, or any place whose entrees are predominantly $20 or up. This should be an affordable, if not relatively inexpensive meal and if anything else, this'll be a great way for you to check out good, ethnic, cheap places you can take your relatives/friends to when they hit town. It's not SA Eats' goal to drain your bank account. [s]If you suggest such a place, you will automagically be responsible for the meet and pay for everyone's meal.[/s]

• If you don't like the cuisine / venue /your fellow goons at one meet, wait for one you WOULD like.

• Please dress casual, but not sloppily. You are representing SA to the world.. or the tiny piece in the restaurant.

• I'll check the place out beforehand to make sure there'll be enough room for X number of people will be coming.

• If you want to join us, your post should say something like "I DEFINITELY WANT TO GO" or convey a high level of confidence.

• POSTS IN THIS THREAD THAT LOOK LIKE THESE:

"Oh cool I'll be in town by then"
"I should be there"
"There's a high possibility I'll be around"
"I guess i'll go.."
"If you guys are cool maybe I'll go"
"maybe I'll show up"
"I could do this"
"Chances are I wanna do this"

..WILL BE TOTALLY FUCKING IGNORED. WE ALSO HATE "IF" STATEMENTS IN NEWBIE POSTS.

• After I receive a certain number of posts from people who can make it, I'll post that we have enough people, depending on the size of the venue. Requests posted after midnight of the day of the meet (or if I decide we are at capacity, whichever comes first) will be ignored.

• It would be great if you would post here 2-3 days in advance if you decide you don't want to go. The closer to the date of the event you cancel, the higher the level of scathing retorts you can receive. If you don't show up at all despite posting that you would, don't be surprised to be ridiculed similarly :stat: :wal:

• Please post only if you are 100% certain you can go and be on time, otherwise if I jerk around the headwaiter by saying eight are coming and three show up (or vice versa) you can be guaranteed everyone will be served mop water and floor-sweep casseroles. Serious eaters only!

• Please DO NOT invite strangers. Strangers in this instance are non-goons. Especially don't invite them without checking with me first. Strangers can bring unwanted drama to goonmeets; at least with goons you can rake them over the coals later on the forums. Strangers can also disappear forever, along with your briefcase, purse, wallet, bookbags, cameras.. **** I am VERY serious about this. If you bring a stranger, I will not allow you to eat with us. **** If you can't resist bringing someone like your neckbeard WoW partner to 'even up' the odds, stay the fuck home.

• We usually meet in front of the establishment, starting around 7:10 so we can make introductions and figure out how to remember your real name before we go in, so we can avoid phrases like "Uh, pass the butter, HentaiMetalBoobies."

• If you arrive late we will likely not get you a seat as it's incredibly rude to all the people who DID show up on time, because we pretty much have to find things to do while we wait for you to get your food and scarf it down, 'cause we finished ours! How fucked up is that?

• Please bring enough cash to pay for your share of the meal. NO FREELOADERS, unless you arrange in advance of the check to have a goon pay your share.

• Paying your share of the meal also includes paying YOUR SHARE OF THE TIP. DON'T BE A FUCKING BABY AND CONVENIENTLY FORGET TO PAY YOUR SHARE, OR ASK FOR CHANGE BACK WITHOUT FIGURING IN YOUR SHARE OF THE TIP.

Many, if not all restaurants in NYC charge an automatic 15% or 20% gratuity for large groups.
If you cannot deal with this mentally or financially, please STAY HOME.

Going forward, I will announce the tip and it will be automatically split among the
number of goons at the table.

We have gotten fucked over this. Or, several of your Eatmates had to pony up more than they had to. I literally sat there as people were GREAT at figuring out their share, BUT TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THE TIP. I didn't, and tried to say "OH YES JUST GIVE ME BACK TEN BECAUSE OF THE TIP" without sounding insane, but no one got/heard it except for maybe two other people who DID have to shovel extra money out to cover the tip.

This is one of those things that makes me want to just end Eats right this second, as I certainly don't make any money from this, and if I or other goons have to LOSE more money than they have to, that's just all kinds of fucked up. :argh:

• If you want to do something after the eats, feel free, but please leave discussion of anything not SA Eatable in DWI or the appropriate thread.

• If you have never been to a SA Eats, you are not entitled to shit the thread by making a suggestion. Try coming along to an Eats FIRST, meeting your fellow goons, and fucking socialize / get to know them; do this before you post any recommendations that will influence how a group of goons that you have never met before is going to eat. At best, you'll be largely ignored. At worst we might mock you for being a lurker/newb.

• Out-of-towners are welcome, but should show up on time just like everyone else, and also not 'suggest' dates and times, and should show up outside the restaurant and wait with the rest of the goons like everyone else.

• SA Eats will never be held on a weekend.

• SA Eats is for NYC five boroughs goons to get a break in the middle of the week, to take advantage of what might be considered off days for dining and so enjoy a non-crowded meal, not to hurl ourselves into the throngs of ungooned masses that show up on weekends.

• NO CLIQUES OR DRAMA ALLOWED AT THE MEET. Yeah, this is not a meet where we wreck the place and engage in tomfoolery.. we just eat and hang out. If you can't handle that, please go to some other NYC meet, there's lots of them posted in GAG, and I bet you'll be much happier. I do not like a side order of disorderly conduct with my meal, and I bet no one else does either.

• DON'T COME TO SELL YOUR WARES. I don't care if you run a porno website or make your own skull necklaces, we're here to eat, NOT TO LISTEN TO YOUR FUCKING SALES PITCH. I'll consider it especially vile if you're not profiting directly and are being a tool for your company. You will be asked to pay your share and leave immediately and not allowed on the lists of any future Eats. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a sales pitch while I'm eating.

• Please don't be the soup-eating lurker that won't look up from their bowl through the whole meet, or only sits and talks to The One Favorite Person all fucking night. You want to come to an SA Eats because you want to enjoy everyone's company, right? Right!

Goons crave an exclusive internet gathering with countless rigid rules. Otherwise they'd go out and eat with friends like normal people.