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by Rafiki 10/28/2008, 1:19pm PDT |
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Guess what: I don't go to school! I work for a subsidiary of a major corporation. And it's not homework as in, "Man, work is really piling on lately, I'm going to have to bring some of it home with me." I have to read a book and answer some questions on it, like, "What did you learn from this," and, "How did this story make you feel?" It was handed down by my department head. He thinks it's a good idea.
It's one of those shitty self-help employee/manager books written for people with learning disabilities by people who know how easy it is to take advantage of fucking morons. I haven't read it yet, but no doubt it's another in the long line of books where the theme is entirely, "Don't be a dick to people," and that for some reason managers are bowled over by it like it's some grand revelation. I also have no doubt that by the time I'm done reading I'm expected to clutch it to my chest while staring wistfully into the sky, and exclaim, "OH, HE TRULY IS THE RICHEST MAN IN TOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWOWOOWOWOWOWWOWOWN!" Fucking grade school guidance counselor bullshit.
In November I have to read another book and then write down 100 dreams, which will be shared in some undisclosed way at our next staff meeting.
In December the company will go bankrupt when everyone's spooning in the breakroom instead of working, all running our fingers through each other's hair asking, "What are you thinking about?" |
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I have homework! by Rafiki 10/28/2008, 1:19pm PDT 
Who Moved My Cheese? by Fussbett 10/28/2008, 1:54pm PDT
non sequitur by FABIO 10/28/2008, 2:59pm PDT
What about snacks??? NT by I need clarification 10/28/2008, 8:08pm PDT
There was also no scenery NT by FABIO 10/30/2008, 2:08pm PDT
It's gotta boost employee morale to compare them to lab mice in a maze. NT by Mischief Euthanizer 10/28/2008, 10:16pm PDT
I never had to read that one, but it has been mentioned in staff meetings before by Rafiki 10/29/2008, 11:46am PDT
Let me guess where you can buy lots of copies of that book NT by I need clarification 10/29/2008, 12:08pm PDT
Probably. There was a subtle tugjob given to Wal-Mart here and there by Rafiki 10/29/2008, 12:16pm PDT
No, you're not too cynical. You just don't play on your zealot enough. by Zsenitan 10/29/2008, 1:49pm PDT
I'd play my zealot more if I didn't have to read stupid fucking books published by Rafiki 10/29/2008, 2:03pm PDT
Plus: Even if you're poor, got fucked, don't cause trouble, just be nice to us. NT by Fussbett 10/29/2008, 6:14pm PDT
Who Moved My Cheese: The Animated Feature by Rafiki 07/09/2014, 9:15pm PDT
We were given Cheese to read at work. Christ. NT by Yorick 08/09/2020, 12:12pm PDT
Somebody wrote they were reading this on a dating site too NT by laudablepuss 08/09/2020, 5:47pm PDT
My company just offered “voluntary separations” by Rafiki 08/09/2020, 6:14pm PDT
I wish companies would do that. by Yorick 08/09/2020, 6:52pm PDT
Corporate touchy-feely by Last 10/28/2008, 2:51pm PDT
You guys are assholes. by Quétinbec 10/30/2008, 6:25am PDT
I can't imagine why she's now your EX-girlfriend NT by Mischief Euthanizer 10/30/2008, 8:07am PDT
What's that supposed to mean, MM? Are you making fun of me or her? NT by Quétinbec 10/30/2008, 9:34pm PDT
Re: You guys are assholes. by motherfuckerfoodeater 10/30/2008, 8:28am PDT
WRONG. by Zsenitan 10/30/2008, 12:33pm PDT
Re: You guys are assholes. by Quétinbec 10/30/2008, 9:33pm PDT
This is all the "Self-Help" you will ever need. by Mischief Maker 10/30/2008, 9:57pm PDT
Re: You guys are assholes. by Zsenitan 11/01/2008, 10:10am PDT
Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart by Fussbett 10/30/2008, 11:29am PDT
I love Earth's self help books. The more of them I digest, the easier it is for by me to hide amongst you! - Exthok 10/30/2008, 11:54am PDT
I like Exthok, he seems like a regular guy. NT by laudablepuss 10/30/2008, 12:31pm PDT
I, too, would like to hang out with him. NT by Moog 10/30/2008, 1:27pm PDT
How can you hang out with people you're not even real you dont have hands NT by The Breadman 03/09/2009, 4:47pm PDT
Stop, you'll make him cry. :( by laudablepuss 03/09/2009, 4:51pm PDT
He has very sensitive feelings (because he is such a nice wonderful person/cow). NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/09/2009, 5:00pm PDT
Also because I was not circumcised by Moog 03/09/2009, 6:53pm PDT
Not circumsized much like myself (mary sue mary sue mary sue mary sue). by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/09/2009, 7:23pm PDT
My psychiatrist makes me buy self-help books all the time, with my own money! by Jerry Whorebach 10/30/2008, 9:56pm PDT
Re: You guys are assholes. by The Breadman 03/09/2009, 4:50pm PDT
Re: I have homework! by FABIO 10/28/2008, 3:01pm PDT
You're being glib. Don't be glib, FABIO. NT by Tom Cruise 10/28/2008, 6:26pm PDT
Is this like dancing at work? :( NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 10/28/2008, 3:50pm PDT
Re: Is this like dancing at work? :( by Rafiki 10/29/2008, 11:48am PDT
HORRIBLE :( NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 10/29/2008, 11:57am PDT
Yes yes y'all, we don't stop, get creative y'all, rock on! by Fussbett 10/29/2008, 1:40pm PDT
This is a good spot to re-archive infogrames.mp3 by Fussbett 10/29/2008, 1:42pm PDT
Honourable mention: Police rap by Fussbett 12/14/2008, 2:50pm PST
The company I work for now is so awesome, our corporate videos are good. by Fullofkittens 12/14/2008, 3:48pm PST
So your music is actually a job. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 12/14/2008, 4:19pm PST
No. NT by Fullofkittens 12/19/2008, 1:04pm PST
Re: Yes yes y'all, we don't stop, get creative y'all, rock on! by E. L. Koba 03/09/2009, 3:59pm PDT
The Gazprom Song by E. L. Koba 06/19/2009, 3:54pm PDT
The chorus of the biggest Russian corporation song is all about drinking. Parod NT by Fussbett 06/19/2009, 4:14pm PDT
I hope they do a new song for the joint venture with Nigeria's NNPC by Fussbett 07/02/2009, 10:25am PDT
Southern Food Brokerage by "The Superbroker Shuffle" 05/03/2012, 3:53pm PDT
Microsoft Developer Conference 2012 by E. L. Koba 06/10/2012, 12:15pm PDT
Re: Yes yes y'all, we don't stop, get creative y'all, rock on! by Last 09/07/2012, 2:33pm PDT
Oh I meant to add this one, too. by Last 09/07/2012, 2:36pm PDT
Bain & Company by Fussbett 09/27/2012, 9:30am PDT
Blackberry (AIM LOG FATE) by Fussbett 09/27/2012, 9:54am PDT
Guy on AIM mocks RIM by Fussbett Returns 09/28/2012, 1:48pm PDT
Haha just saw this. by FSBT 01/31/2013, 11:44pm PST
Microsoft Sweden by E. L. Koba 04/25/2021, 1:31pm PDT
Oh hey it's the Anti-Life Equation how nice by Entropy Stew 11/01/2008, 1:19pm PDT
Re: Is this like dancing at work? :( by Last 10/24/2012, 11:10am PDT
For the second year in a row, I have not filled out my CORPORATE_ACRONYM survey by Entropy Stew 10/28/2008, 11:53pm PDT
My job wants me to read books about how to do my job better. :( by Fullofkittens 11/01/2008, 10:35am PDT
OH MAN I READ MY OTHER BOOK A FEW WEEKS BACK by Rafiki 12/19/2008, 12:08pm PST
Guess who's got two thumbs, a noose, a stool and is running the book club at his by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/28/2015, 3:10pm PDT
Re: Guess who's got two thumbs, a noose, a stool and is running the book club at by Chillum 04/28/2015, 4:21pm PDT
This I am going to read for pleasure. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 05/09/2015, 10:40pm PDT
Is this for coders, non-coders, or a mix? by Fullofkittens 04/28/2015, 5:58pm PDT
The Art of Computer Programming. The 120 Days of Sodom by Rafiki 04/28/2015, 9:15pm PDT
Managing Humans? by The Happiness Engine 05/03/2015, 5:16pm PDT
I love rands by HUGALUGHAGLUGH 05/04/2015, 8:22pm PDT
I'm not ready to believe that's the JerkCity guy yet. That site is incredible. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 05/09/2015, 10:39pm PDT
JERKCITY is a collaborative effort by HANFORD in Stall #3 05/09/2015, 11:40pm PDT
Re: Guess who's got two thumbs, a noose, a stool and is running the book club at by Mr. Kool 05/04/2015, 8:32pm PDT
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