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by Zsenitan 04/10/2009, 5:15pm PDT |
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I use recipes for things that are fucked if the proportions are off, like custard or rye bread. But most of the time I operate on a few rules:
0) Home cooking is about love for your fellow humans/diners. Alain Ducasse stuck that chestnut in his Grand livre de cuisine. You won't necessarily be a good cook for people just because you love them, but you can't be a good cook for people if you don't really care about them, their needs, their opinions of you and of food.
1) Don't cut corners, if it takes a long time or a lot of work to make something, and you don't want to take a long time or do a lot of work, make a different something. Even if it means ruining your carefully-planned-out Big Dinner, change your menu to fit your capacity without flinching. Better to have a good casual dinner than a lame fancy one.
2) Get good ingredients. If you have to cheap out, cheap out first on meats (get cheaper cuts and prepare appropriately) and last on fats and spices. NEVER... EVER... EVER substitute anything for butter or virgin olive oil. Pitch spices that have a dull taste or that have picked up the aromas of other spices in your collection. Do not ever use quasi-food extenders or emulsifiers or whatever: fucking throw away your PAM spray and cans of cresent rolls and similar turdage.
3) Learn what lots of things taste like so you can fit the tastes together later. Learn what the effects of different kinds of heat are on foods. Screw around with your extra ingredients and leftovers. A lot of people just go by recipes blindly, never realizing that they are only repeating the mistakes made by the recipe-writer; I have almost never used a recipe that I didn't improve on even on the first time I cooked it. The only exception I can think of is Julia Child's recipe for choux pastry.
4) Know your audience. Make things that will be liked by the people you're cooking for. Sounds simple enough but I can't tell you how many times I've had meals ruined for me by people forgetting that I hate veal or something like that. I too have put together spectacular whipped-cream cakes for the lactose-intolerant, or crown rib roasts for beef-haters, or put too much pepper into everything in the world, or put a few too many bitter weeds in a salad.
5) Have a clean palate and taste everything you're making - taste constantly, unabashedly (but don't gorge yourself.) Palate cleansers: soda water, weak black tea. But also: learn to differentiate between the acceptable and the delicious. Too often when I was learning to cook, I tasted something and decided that it was good enough, and I missed out on making it gooooood.
6) You will get more mileage out of having a few techniques and flavors mastered than having a few stock dishes that you can rely on. It is (sad but truuuueee-ah) the Taco Bell principle: I can braise lamb, tomatoes, onions, and garlic together in a new way every time I bring those ingredients home, and everyone I cook for will be ready to compliment my delicious new dish.
7) Learn how to use a knife. |
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Moments with Hewters. by Zsenitan 04/10/2009, 3:41pm PDT 
You're really landlording it over her NT by Entropy Stew 04/10/2009, 4:02pm PDT
Re: Moments with Hewters. by up with pod people 04/10/2009, 4:32pm PDT
LECTURE DE CUISINE by Zsenitan 04/10/2009, 5:15pm PDT
Re: LECTURE DE CUISINE by up with pod people 04/10/2009, 6:44pm PDT
Re: LECTURE DE CUISINE by Zsenitan 04/10/2009, 7:29pm PDT
Roasts by Entropy Stew 04/10/2009, 7:47pm PDT
Re: Roasts by Mysterious Stranger 04/11/2009, 9:26am PDT
breakfast and stock: ding, ding by up with pod people 04/10/2009, 8:00pm PDT
You goddamn butter chicken lover. NT by Choson 04/10/2009, 11:50pm PDT
everyone knows there is no such thing as butter chicken NT by up with pod people 04/11/2009, 8:37am PDT
You goddamn murgh makhana lover. NT by Choson 04/11/2009, 8:38am PDT
Re: breakfast and stock: ding, ding by Mysterious Stranger 04/11/2009, 9:33am PDT
experiments in this vein will be forthcoming TYVM NT by up with pod people 04/11/2009, 2:48pm PDT
hmm tentative successes by up with pod people 04/13/2009, 12:59pm PDT
Yes, good. Now come here and sit in my lap, and I'll tell you how to make sweets NT by Zsenitan 04/13/2009, 5:35pm PDT
FINALLY my spot opened up NT by Moog 04/13/2009, 6:02pm PDT
Beware the rolling pin by Entropy Stew 04/13/2009, 8:51pm PDT
I will put a chicken bone twixt the bars, & choose my moment when the oven opens NT by up with pod people 04/13/2009, 9:02pm PDT
Recipe Request: Fried Rice by Worm 04/10/2009, 11:31pm PDT
Peanut oil? What is this, the 1970s? by Choson 04/10/2009, 11:49pm PDT
It has a lower or higher boiling point I guess? by Worm 04/11/2009, 12:20am PDT
Re: Recipe Request: Fried Rice by Mysterious Stranger oh shit it is Z 04/11/2009, 9:45am PDT
What are you making, oyakodon or something? by Choson 04/11/2009, 12:57pm PDT
Re: Recipe Request: Fried Rice by Last 04/11/2009, 1:36pm PDT
The shit clock's tickin. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/11/2009, 1:48pm PDT
Re: Recipe Request: Fried Rice by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/11/2009, 1:38pm PDT
Re: Recipe Request: Fried Rice by Moog 04/11/2009, 2:41pm PDT
Thanks, bud. Dish came out ok, I guess, but yeah - that powder woulda been great NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/11/2009, 4:37pm PDT
How long should you let cooked rice sit before it's slightly dry? NT by Fortinbras 04/14/2009, 12:35pm PDT
Re: Recipe Request: Fried Rice by Last 04/16/2009, 11:35am PDT
Just made this for Xmas dinner. Deelish. NT by Last 12/25/2010, 5:11pm PST
How to make bread (girls only) by Zsenitan 04/20/2009, 5:00pm PDT
I thought it was going to be something about yeast infections. NT by Fussbett 04/20/2009, 5:13pm PDT
it still might be NT by gruman 04/20/2009, 5:23pm PDT
I knew I was forgetting something by up with pod people 04/21/2009, 12:00pm PDT
So did you punch her tits or what? NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/10/2009, 5:11pm PDT
a "professional WASPy" which is unemployed so... a whore? NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 04/10/2009, 7:22pm PDT
She found out on Dr. Phil you can prostitute yourself on craigslist for huge mon NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/11/2009, 3:41am PDT
huge monarch butterflies (i.e. tits) NT by gruman 04/11/2009, 4:37am PDT
Is she skinny or have you bothered to check (BOOBS) NT by Vested Id 04/11/2009, 2:07am PDT
She is not skinny but she is not fat. Voluptuous tending to overweight. by Zsenitan 04/11/2009, 9:46am PDT
That's not how you have an IM sex conversation! by Quétinbec 04/14/2009, 4:35pm PDT
Did she pick you up from the airport? NT by A Message from Caltrops Cares 04/15/2009, 10:22am PDT
Ask her to make you fried rice NT by Except hilariously switch L and R 04/15/2009, 2:10pm PDT
Yeah, she was there and was happy so I didn't cum on her face. NT by Quétinbec 04/15/2009, 4:13pm PDT
QB, the master of negging NT by Tricknology 04/15/2009, 8:33pm PDT
Is that like nagging? Because that works for me. NT by Quétinbec 04/16/2009, 2:21am PDT
The secret is POSITIVE negs to increase IoI levels NT by Mystery's speed seduction guide 04/16/2009, 1:36pm PDT
But lol levels are a sacred thing. NT by Quétinbec 04/16/2009, 4:55pm PDT
Corn Salad by Last 05/17/2009, 6:57pm PDT
Re: Corn Salad by Last 05/17/2009, 6:59pm PDT
We mixin' it laissez-faire style, yeeeeeeea NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 05/17/2009, 7:32pm PDT
My suggestion. by motherfuckerfoodeater 05/17/2009, 10:55pm PDT
Re: Corn Salad by Zsenitan 05/31/2009, 4:25pm PDT
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