Forum Overview :: The Knuckle Shuffle
 
Fleshlight by Quétinbec 08/17/2009, 3:29pm PDT
An American wrote:


You could use "jerk" as a jerk-for-wank replacement, and your point would be understood, the same way we understand you, but no ones says this.


That's what I thinking, but if you said, "I had 5 jerks last night." people might think you meant one short, 5 stroke wank. Not 5 wanks. You guys don't even have the vocabulary to talk about this shit! It's like the reverse of the 40 Eskimo words for snow. Get your shit together, America.


Anyway, I asked a friend about his Fleshlight last night. He said after you've cum in it, you pull the head off and run water through it to make it clean. That's fine, but because it's a long cylinder, you have to leave it exposed to warm, moving air for hours to dry the insides. It takes so long that you can only use it twice a day providing you space the wanks at either end of a hot day.

And because it's the kind of thing you want to hide under a pile of t-shirts in your cupboard and not by the window for all to see, life becomes difficult. If you hide it somewhere dark, it won't dry properly and becomes smelly. The front is shaped enough like a vagina that even if someone hadn't been exposed to the million Fleshlight banner ads, they'd know it was for wanking.

He said he squeezed it between two books on his bookshelf so that it was suspended vertically. That way, people could only see it from the side. That was the least suspicious way he could dry it, but he still worried when people came into his room and it was drying. It cost him $AU120, so he made an effort to like it, but ultimately, he gave up on it after a few weeks. He said he went to a Fleshlight forum where people made suggestions about "cool" things to do with them. One guy very strongly recommended he tie it the centre of a fan.

Before he bought the proper Fleshlight, he bought a cheaper imitation one that he says was much worse, but its hole doesn't look as much like a cunt, so rather than throw it out, he sticks his toothbrushes in it!

He works in a call centre.
PREVIOUS NEXT REPLY QUOTE
 
Two consecutive homosexual wanks by Quétinbec 08/12/2009, 11:15pm PDT NEW
    Calibrate your faggotry. Please rate the included pictures. by Zsenitan 08/12/2009, 11:31pm PDT NEW
        Re: Calibrate your faggotry. Please rate the included pictures. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/12/2009, 11:43pm PDT NEW
            I'll put in requests for more taurens and more women over at /y/ NT by Zsenitan 08/12/2009, 11:44pm PDT NEW
                Yeah you get on that sweet cheeks my work is done time for a well deserved rest. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/12/2009, 11:48pm PDT NEW
                    Anon delivers. by Zsenitanon 08/20/2009, 7:18pm PDT NEW
                        Hm now that I've seen it it doesn't seem all that appealing. :( NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/20/2009, 8:01pm PDT NEW
        Additional Calibration by Worm 08/13/2009, 12:29am PDT NEW
        Oh by the way here's that pic again. Quit hiding from yourself, QB! by Zsenitan 08/13/2009, 4:09pm PDT NEW
    Oh my god also jesus fuck ha ha by Zsenitan 08/12/2009, 11:54pm PDT NEW
        OK, I knew nothing about any American gay riots. That's a freaky coincidence. by Quétinbec 08/13/2009, 3:35pm PDT NEW
            Freaky, you say. by Zsenitan 08/13/2009, 4:02pm PDT NEW
                Keep your gay shit out of this thread, Zseni. by Quétinbec 08/13/2009, 7:45pm PDT NEW
                    You never jerked it so hard as you did to that beautiful young boy, liar. by Zsenitan 08/13/2009, 11:09pm PDT NEW
                        BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL......... COLE ;-; NT by Mr. Holland 08/13/2009, 11:34pm PDT NEW
                        This bitch is just asking for it. by Quétinbec 08/14/2009, 5:55pm PDT NEW
                            Re: This bitch is just asking for it. by Zsenitan 08/15/2009, 1:45am PDT NEW
                                Re: This bitch is just asking for it. by Quétinbec 08/15/2009, 3:51pm PDT NEW
                                    Re: This bitch is just asking for it. by motherfuckerfoodeater 08/15/2009, 4:17pm PDT NEW
                                        LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S A LESBIAN ENTHUSIAST ABNORMAL NT by Normal Wank Society (NWS) 08/15/2009, 4:45pm PDT NEW
                                        Here's a masturbation vocabulary question for you, MFFE, or any other American. by Quétinbec 08/16/2009, 2:40pm PDT NEW
                                            Re: Here's a masturbation vocabulary question for you, MFFE, by RTS players who aren't good at RTS 08/16/2009, 3:05pm PDT NEW
                                            gypsy jesus: I'd hit it NT by up with pod people 08/16/2009, 3:44pm PDT NEW
                                            Re: Here's a masturbation vocabulary question for you, MFFE, or any other Ameri by An American 08/16/2009, 6:34pm PDT NEW
                                                Only faggots and anglophiles say wank in America NT by Fortinbras 08/16/2009, 7:33pm PDT NEW
                                                Fleshlight by Quétinbec 08/17/2009, 3:29pm PDT NEW
                                                    Wank Vocab by Grammarian 08/17/2009, 10:50pm PDT NEW
                                            Fellow hippie traveling palz! ^____^ NT by Fussbett 08/16/2009, 8:48pm PDT NEW
                                            Re: Here's a masturbation vocabulary question for you, MFFE, or any other Ame by Last 08/18/2009, 5:29am PDT NEW
                                                Re: Here's a masturbation vocabulary question for you, MFFE, or any other Ame by Better Blue Than Red 08/18/2009, 7:37am PDT NEW
                                                    Re: Here's a masturbation vocabulary question for you, MFFE, or any other Ame by alternatively 08/18/2009, 1:55pm PDT NEW
                                    Re: This bitch is just asking for it. by Zsenitan 08/15/2009, 5:08pm PDT NEW
                                        Quetinbec really fills in the summer slump here at Caltrops NT by Fortinbras 08/15/2009, 11:14pm PDT NEW
    Re: Two consecutive homosexual wanks by Far too good to be true 08/13/2009, 1:31am PDT NEW
    Re: Two consecutive homosexual wanks by H1N1 08/14/2009, 4:27am PDT NEW
        dan savage on straight men by up with pod people 08/14/2009, 9:17am PDT NEW
            Michael Savage has similar views. NT by Mr. 3000 and his blob 08/14/2009, 2:01pm PDT NEW
        Re: Two consecutive homosexual wanks by Quétinbec 08/14/2009, 6:02pm PDT NEW
 
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