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by Bill Dungsroman 02/28/2003, 5:14pm PST |
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I need clarification wrote:
How many of you fags are Ren Faire fags?
Na-noo Na-noo.
I AM!! Sort of. I was a total fucking nerdpresident of this Honor Society in college. As is usual for a campus organization, we spent most of our time earning dough to buy shit for our stupid club and send us to some meaningless research symposium to present our retarded research (or rather, the retarded research of some professor, delegated to a grad student, for which we did all the scut work). How to make money? Bake sales? Sure, but those were only good for a couple hundred at best, when we could score the prime booth in the middle of the student union. Otherwise, we had to brainstorm.
I thought to myself, Now, what could we do that plays to our strengths? Well, we didn't have many strengths. How about mine, personally? Again, lacking...but I'm really good at making fun of people. And there it was: slap together a ramshackle "booth" at the RenFaire (of particle board, pallets, and rope) and charge people 2 bucks to throw rotten tomatoes at an insulting "court jester" (me in a fucking ridiculous get-up: forest green drawstring pants, a peasant shirt made by this lady who did costumes for some local Vegas show - my dad knew her - along with a PURPLE hooded cape and booties. KWEER). What's the prize? There was no prize, beyond the satisfying chance to bean me (IN THE NUTS, usually) with a rotten (I SAID ROTTEN YOU STUPID BITCHES, I don't care if you don't like picking up the yucky squishy rotten ones, STOP GIVING THEM THE ONES THAT ARE STILL RIPE) tomato or 2. We made over 1000 bucks in one day with that gimmick. And I got covered with bruises and a sore scrotum in the bargain. BUT I GOT A DATE WITH A WITCH, her name was Wyllow (ha ha, her real name was Marcella. She was Hispanic, to bring this post full circle to its title), and I was just proud of myself that I got a date with a cute Goth while covered in rotten tomato juice. Woopee me.
BDR
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Caltrops.com mascot? by Bodybag 02/27/2003, 6:12am PST 
Re: Caltrops.com mascot? by Bill Dungsroman 02/27/2003, 11:12am PST 
Dramatic reinactment of the #1 worst sexual experience. Brought to you by Fanta by Bodybag 02/27/2003, 12:26pm PST 
Yay! They fixed it, come revel in TEH FUNNAY by Sherman burned down my town 03/11/2003, 5:06pm PST 
PIX PLZ-NT by Jerking Imminent 02/27/2003, 3:14pm PST 
I could become a fully fledged Ninja (with legs!) in only 3 years?! by Fussbett 02/27/2003, 3:51pm PST 
You didn't know? by Chairman Mao 02/27/2003, 10:13pm PST 
Re: You didn't know? by Cyrris 02/28/2003, 9:59am PST 
Oh for fuck's sake... by Chairman Mao 02/28/2003, 12:07pm PST 
Fatality! by Ray, of Light 02/28/2003, 12:36pm PST 
START UP A MARTIAL ARTS FORUM! STAT! -NT NT by GAY THREAD CONTAINMENT TEAM ALPHA 02/28/2003, 1:06pm PST 
AYE AYE! by Rear Admiral Stew 02/28/2003, 1:14pm PST 
Just taking a stab, here by I need clarification 02/28/2003, 4:57pm PST 
None? -nt- by Chairman Mao 02/28/2003, 5:07pm PST 
Wrong. Thanks for playing. [nt] by I need clarification 02/28/2003, 6:42pm PST 
What, no consolation prize? -nt- NT by Chairman Mao 02/28/2003, 7:05pm PST 
It's more like one of those bottle caps... by I need clarification 02/28/2003, 7:56pm PST 
What are you, Latina ROOFLESOMMINJOKE by Bill Dungsroman 02/28/2003, 5:14pm PST 
Mmm... Goth Girl... (nt) NT by fok 03/01/2003, 12:10pm PST 
ANYONE GOT A PASSWORD FOR SUICIDEGIRLS.COM? (nt) NT by Jhoh Creexul 03/01/2003, 5:25pm PST 
I agree by I need clarification 02/28/2003, 4:49pm PST 
Get the Shield up, stew! We deserve better trolls than this. (NT) by Mischief Maker 02/28/2003, 5:16pm PST 
Shields are at 50-60% by Rear Admiral Stew 02/28/2003, 7:58pm PST 
I change my mind by I need clarification 03/01/2003, 11:34am PST 
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