Forum Overview :: Reviews

So who's going to destroy The Darkness? by Lizard_King 07/11/2007, 10:42pm PDT I feel like a penguin trying to stop a runaway polar bear I knew a guy who used to live down here, Mickey Fat Lips... Paulie's a dead man unless he grows a beard and learns to speak swahili. Those quotes, mostly verbatim from the game load screens, sum up how I feel about it. I loved Chronicles of Riddick. I enjoy tentacle rape. But somehow the merger of the two ended up diminishing both halves. It probably would have been a better xbox 1 than 360 game, but it still would have suffered from some serious problems. The first is all of the technology they imported from 2002 for enemy ai and character behavior/animation. That's going to kick you in the balls right off the bat, but you're not going to feel it until you teleport to the secondary, poorly designed environment for some Dark Tower shenanigans. Much as I hate to reference Stephen King, somebody ripped somebody off when coming up with that shit. I don't care enough to find out who was first, but I will say that if you felt early PS2 war games were primitive, you've seen nothing yet. The combat can be fun, if you feel that god mode mixed with insta deaths is fun. Otherwise, you will survive on a steady diet of hearts and wannabe wop one-liners. Which brings me to my next comparison: Remember how Blood Omen was alright until you had to suck out the 500th schmoe's blood? Well, these clowns learned nothing from that model. To their credit, they took a far more limited minion management system than, say, Overlord, and made it painless to operate productively. And they manage to make walking extremely slowly in an FPS the least of their problems, so kudos all round. And it is graphically superior to many ps2 games, so if this is still a transitional period for you, you'll be ok. Conclusion: had you told me a year ago that a game where my dueling cocks fought over human body parts would not please me, I would have called you a fucking liar. Starbreeze did it anyway. Fuck this game, and fuck Bioshock and other future disappointments for not coming out yet and making me buy this.

So who's going to destroy The Darkness? by Lizard_King 07/11/2007, 10:42pm PDT     Too bad, I was also looking forward to this one. by Jerry Whorebach 07/12/2007, 12:24am PDT         Re: Too bad, I was also looking forward to this one. by Lizard_King 07/12/2007, 11:50am PDT             I loved Monster Chiller Horror Theater. by Zseni 07/17/2007, 9:29am PDT             So I went ahead and got The Dorkness despite it obviously looking pretty bad. by Jerry Whorebach 06/28/2008, 8:37pm PDT                 "Play as Jack 'Jackie' The Jackal Estevez-Avocado Jackson." GEE THAT SOUNDS FUN NT by MAJOR SELLING POINT!!! 06/28/2008, 8:43pm PDT                 I ended up returning it just before the return period expired. by Jerry Whorebach 09/18/2008, 1:06pm PDT         Does Psi Ops run on the 360? NT by Mischief Maker 07/12/2007, 2:13pm PDT             I haven't tried it. I'll get back to you if I can dig up my copy. NT by Lizard_King 07/13/2007, 4:28am PDT                 I'll save you the bother. Like most Xbox games, it doesn't EVEN run on 360. by Jerry Whorebach 07/13/2007, 7:38am PDT                     Dammit. After I went through all that to get the disc back. by Lizard_King 07/13/2007, 12:48pm PDT                         How many upgrade modules before it's like post 10 minutes Psi Ops? NT by FABIO 07/16/2007, 10:17pm PDT                             You really like that game almost too much. by Lizard_King 07/16/2007, 10:37pm PDT                                 It was a great game by FABIO 07/17/2007, 12:30am PDT                                     More games should put their worst levels at the very end. NT by Trenchant observation or what, eh? 07/17/2007, 1:32am PDT                                     I'm suprised they didn't make a Psi Ops mod for Half-Life 2 NT by Mischief Maker 07/17/2007, 7:32am PDT                                         It would have made HL2 more fun by FABIO 07/10/2008, 3:18pm PDT                                             WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID HELLO THAT WAS A SERIOUS FUCKING QUESTION by Grumah 07/10/2008, 3:34pm PDT                                                 Re: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID HELLO THAT WAS A SERIOUS FUCKING QUESTI by Grumah 07/10/2008, 3:41pm PDT                                                     Be sure to swallow my load at the end of this. NT by Half-Life 2 07/10/2008, 4:31pm PDT                                                         Boy that sounds really shameful and bad. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 07/10/2008, 4:33pm PDT                                                     "I am not aware of anything IRL -" this excuse is always wrong and you know it. NT by Last 07/10/2008, 5:42pm PDT                                                         So crates can become translucent? ^_^ NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 07/10/2008, 6:02pm PDT                                                             If a goateed science GEEK can become an action hero, anything is possible. v_v NT by Jerry Whorebach 07/10/2008, 6:15pm PDT                                                                 with an HEV suit by Grumah 07/10/2008, 6:45pm PDT                                                         immersion, suspension of disbelief? who needs em, DOOM3DOOM3DOOM3DOOM3DOOM3DOOM3 NT by Grumah 07/10/2008, 6:47pm PDT                                                 Re: WHAT THE FUCK etc. etc. by Mischief Maker 07/10/2008, 6:29pm PDT                                                     I qualify everything made with the Source engine as HL2. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 07/10/2008, 6:39pm PDT                                                     Trespasser: Better than HL2? NT by FABIO 07/10/2008, 9:04pm PDT                                                 Re: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID HELLO THAT WAS A SERIOUS FUCKING QUESTI by FABIO 07/10/2008, 9:07pm PDT                                                     HL2 vs psiops by Grumah 07/11/2008, 8:25am PDT                                                         Re: HL2 vs psiops by FABIO 07/11/2008, 11:12am PDT                                                             5.1 SURROUND SOUND SYSTEM AND AN ICE BOX AND CUPBOARD FULL OF FOOD WHILE LITTLE NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 07/11/2008, 11:23am PDT                                                                 non linear torture gameplay NT by Grumah 07/11/2008, 11:31am PDT                                             Well we never had to play it with DirectX 8 on a Pentium 3 :( NT by the technology and prosperity bros. 07/11/2008, 1:15pm PDT             psi ops is free on fileplanet by Grumah 07/10/2008, 7:08am PDT                 The game is picking up now that I can throw ragdolls around like so much um well by Grumah 07/10/2008, 11:18am PDT                     stealth bullshit and hey nice fucking buggy ass bugged out boss fight by Grumah 07/10/2008, 6:57pm PDT                         Re: stealth bullshit and hey nice fucking buggy ass bugged out boss fight by FABIO 07/10/2008, 9:06pm PDT                             Ok I am fucking finished with this game forever by Grumah 07/11/2008, 4:02pm PDT                                 Even Xen is better than that level by Grumah 07/11/2008, 4:04pm PDT                                     I bought Psi-Ops last year, LIKE AN IDIOT :( by Jerry Whorebach 07/11/2008, 7:26pm PDT                                         well the first 6 hours are more fun than a lot of other games that were released NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 09/18/2008, 12:53pm PDT                 Psi Ops: Better than Metalgear NT by FABIO 07/10/2008, 3:08pm PDT                     Stubbing my toe: better than Metalgear NT by Grumah 07/10/2008, 3:23pm PDT                         Stubs toe, sobs for 5 hours with slo mo matrix panning NT by FABIO 07/10/2008, 9:46pm PDT                             90 minute codec call about toes NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 09/18/2008, 12:53pm PDT