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by fabio 11/11/2016, 9:34pm PST |
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Rafiki wrote:
NES
1) Super Mario Bros. 3
2) Super Mario Bros.
Mario 2 was objectively better than 1.
8) Metroid
This is one of those games that we constantly heard was iconic and a must own but I never had fun with it. 95% of the game was getting lost or getting stuck or getting stuck in walls or spending half an hour shooting enemies in the same hallway over and over to slowly get enough health drops to refill all your energy tanks before you could try another run.
9) Blaster Master
Objectively better than Metroid. Even if the gun power down after getting hit mechanic was super annoying.
10) Contra
WHY IS THIS NOT IN THE TOP 3?
14) Double Dragon II: The Revenge
15) Castlevania II: Simon's Quest
This is my "why is this game so reviled?" moment. I thought Double Dragon 3 kicked the shit out of the previous games. Most of the criticism seems to come from people not having any clue how to play the Chinese dude, or being too dumb to switch off a character before they die.
17) Crystalis
I remember this being way more fun than Zelda. Worse music I guess?
19) Ninja Gaiden
This game really was shit. It's only remembered for popularizing cutscenes as we know them today.
23) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game
HOW IS THIS LOWER THAN FAXANADU?
24) Life Force
It's the same game as Gradius which is ranked at the bottom?
30) Solomon's Key
Fuck this game was impossible.
32) Karnov
HOW IS ANY SIDESCROLLER RANKED LOWER THAN THIS?
43) Metal Gear
I throw this up there with Ninja Gaiden in the category of iconic games that popularized a convention, but the game was utter crap. Starting over at the starting screen was BULLSHIT.
44) Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos
Better than the original in every possible department: gameplay, difficulty, cutscenes.
46) Demon Sword
47) Marble Madness
48) Strider
Demon Sword was a total mess that seemed more like a botched programming project than a game.
Strider is Faxanadu for non-rpg fags.
67) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Everyone wanted to believe this game wasn't shit. They were all wrong.
72) Clash at Demonhead
Possibly the most underrated game in the entire NES library. Put this up with Strider for kicking this shit out of boring clunky Faxanadu.
75) Dragon Warrior
The original Final Fantasy was shit (sold entirely by Nintendo Power hype), but it was infinitely better than fucking Dragon Warrior. The only reason console rpgs took off was kids who only got 2 games a year needing to stretch the "value" of each one.
76) Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
If I find even one single non-shit game past this point....
84) Kung-Fu
Fuck you! 3 steps above the trainwreck of Bad Dudes?
89) Paperboy
No clue how this game ever caught on. Why did nobody every attempt a reboot where they shifted the focus to a Tony Hawk score system of encouraging you to cause as much damage as possible?
91) Milon's Secret Castle
92) Wrath of the Black Manta
93) Ikari Warriors II: Victory Road
94) NES Play Action Football
95) 8 Eyes
96) Double Dribble
97) RBI Baseball
98) Popeye
99) Elevator Action
How did Elevator Action get lumped below games so bad that there's hardly any point in ordering them anymore?
102) Spy Hunter
Another game you realize was always shit.
104) Rad Racer
It was a fucking travesty that this got picked as one of the 3 games for the Nintendo World Championships. It was shit for an early release black box game, and it was even more shit by 1990.
107) Rampage
A lot less fun than people remember, but 50 places below goddamn Karnov?
112) Spy vs Spy
This game was the shit 2 player!!!
Okay, up until you realized that you could easily stalemate it and make it impossible for each other to win.
113) The Adventures of Bayou Billy
114) Golgo 13
115) The Simpsons: Bart vs The Space Mutants
116) Deadly Towers
117) Ikari Warriors
118) The Karate Kid
119) Rambo
120) Burger Time
121) Pro Wrestling
122) Skate or Die!
123) Top Gun
124) Ring King
125) Renegade
126) Family Feud
127) Wheel of Fortune
128) 10-Yard Fight
129) Track & Field
130) The Adventures of Gilligan's Island
131) Friday the 13th
132) Jaws
133) Ghostbusters
134) Fist of the North Star
Finally, a streak of bottom games that all belong there.
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(Almost) Every Game I've Ever Played by Rafiki 10/15/2016, 12:16pm PDT 
Top 68 SNES Games!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by Rafiki 10/17/2016, 11:28am PDT
Metal Warriors deserves a spot in there by Rey Mysterio Jr. 10/17/2016, 11:40am PDT
Chrono Trigger below FF6? Fag. NT by Gamefaqs 10/18/2016, 5:40am PDT
Empire was the worst of the SNES star wars trilogy NT by fag 10/18/2016, 7:29am PDT
This is amazing. I want to make a list like this! by But I'm too indecisive. 10/18/2016, 9:06am PDT
ICJ posted during the HOUR it took me to type this and now my subject line looks by like a cruel parody of his :( 10/18/2016, 9:12am PDT
Hey Jerry, you don't have to wonder, it's 2016! by JERRY HELPER 10/20/2016, 1:09pm PDT
Or really any sort of condom engineered for her pleasure, it's my understanding by they are very selfish lovers. 10/21/2016, 1:35am PDT
Fans fixed the Genesis port, it's now the definitive 16-bit console version. by (Not counting the CPS Changer.) 10/23/2016, 12:25pm PDT
They may have fixed the scratchiness, but not the Genesis fart synth NT by Rafiki 10/23/2016, 4:26pm PDT
Those SFII CE patches look (& sound) great! NT by still taking CPS tho 10/23/2016, 4:26pm PDT
Re: Top Apple ][ games by Blackwater 10/27/2016, 5:51pm PDT
Re: Top Apple ][ games by Fullofkittens 10/27/2016, 7:00pm PDT
This is great. I haven't been able to join you in this venture, but I will. by Ice Cream Jonsey 10/18/2016, 8:34am PDT
Side-track: A poll for Caltrops - Player's Guides by Rafiki 10/18/2016, 9:26am PDT
It only applies to the original Legend of Zelda by fabio 10/18/2016, 4:39pm PDT
Did you ever play X-Men for the Genesis? by Rafiki 10/19/2016, 12:08pm PDT
That wasn't the penultimate level, Asteroid M was by Rey Mysterio Jr. 10/19/2016, 7:28pm PDT
Re: Did you ever play X-Men for the Genesis? by Ice Cream Jonsey 10/19/2016, 9:02pm PDT
Listen to Fonzie! I can't believe I have to say that! by Dream Cast 10/18/2016, 11:14pm PDT
You don't have to say that! I picked a side when I ranked Street Fighter by Rafiki 10/19/2016, 12:03pm PDT
I feel like you and especially fabio are being too hard on Street Fighter. by Dream Cast 10/19/2016, 1:46pm PDT
And the Street Fighter G.I. Joes had combos printed on their filecards! NT by Check and mate, American children. 10/19/2016, 1:52pm PDT
Re: I feel like you and especially fabio are being too hard on Street Fighter. by Rafiki 10/19/2016, 2:13pm PDT
Shut up and release Halflife 3, erik! by Caltrops Conspiracy Theorists Trust 10/19/2016, 5:46pm PDT
Re: Shut up and release Halflife 3, erik! by Ice Cream Jonsey 10/19/2016, 9:04pm PDT
Ok fine but Umberto fucked K. Thor THEN fucked Veronica, is the real story NT by Caltrops Conspiracy Theorists Trust 10/20/2016, 12:16am PDT
Dreamcast is definitely Jerry by fag 10/20/2016, 8:00am PDT
Thanks Rafiki for making a thread about pissing on the memory of Old Man Murray by and every Clayfighter for some reas 10/20/2016, 8:49am PDT
Out of all of the games there are to defend, I never would have predicted Clayfi NT by Rafiki 10/20/2016, 11:18am PDT
Further digging reveals erik once wrote an article loving Dreamcast!More to come NT by Caltrops Conspiracy Theorists Trust 10/20/2016, 5:24pm PDT
If someone asks erik if he was Jerry and gets a response, I'll by Ice Cream Jonsey 10/23/2016, 1:03pm PDT
Please do not ask erik this, or Marlon Wayans if he was the 'funny' black guy by you went to school with. 10/23/2016, 1:48pm PDT
I might have posted that while drunk before. by Ice Cream Jonsey 10/23/2016, 5:54pm PDT
Duke Nukem World Tour reminded me how much I hate the Red Cross, for ruining by the health packs in all our games. 10/23/2016, 6:29pm PDT
I think Kingpin was the first time I saw regenerating health, and it was for the by Ice Cream Jonsey 10/23/2016, 9:15pm PDT
Many of the first-wave NES games req'd a Nintendo Power subscription by Fullofkittens 10/19/2016, 4:33am PDT
Handheld and Mobile by Rafiki 10/18/2016, 2:19pm PDT
Thank you for reminding me that Kirby Canvas Curse was amazing and Scribblenauts NT by was super lame -- mark 08/01/2017, 7:14pm PDT
My 2600 list is WAY longer NT by guess that makes me old 10/18/2016, 2:29pm PDT
Or poor. You could have been poor. Maybe you couldn't afford new systems becau NT by Rafiki 10/18/2016, 2:53pm PDT
"Call it duty?" by Robin Ramzinski 10/18/2016, 5:22pm PDT
NINTENDO SIXTY-FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUR by Rafiki 10/19/2016, 4:27pm PDT
Sega Consoles by Rafiki 10/22/2016, 5:41pm PDT
Playstation2, 3, 4 by Rafiki 10/22/2016, 7:04pm PDT
LA NOIRE???!!!! NT by thead over, everyone go home 10/22/2016, 7:19pm PDT
I can only rank something I played. What am I, a games journalist? NT by Rafiki 10/22/2016, 7:48pm PDT
Well then the one thing we learned from this thread, you need to play more games NT by Roop 10/22/2016, 11:23pm PDT
Gamecube, Wii, and Wii U by Rafiki 10/27/2016, 3:10pm PDT
Re: Gamecube, Wii, and Wii U by fabio 07/18/2017, 7:55am PDT
NES by Rafiki 11/01/2016, 12:45pm PDT
8 Eyes should be on the very bottom of that list by fabio 11/01/2016, 5:01pm PDT
Cobra Triangle: one of the best Dave Wise albums after Battletoads NT by Vested Id 11/01/2016, 5:04pm PDT
WOW, that is an oversight that it's up that high. It's such a shit game by Rafiki 11/01/2016, 5:21pm PDT
re: Castlevania III godawful song by Rafiki 11/01/2016, 5:28pm PDT
All that is true about Castlevania 3 by fabio 11/01/2016, 10:56pm PDT
I have come to needlessly shit on your list by fabio 11/11/2016, 9:34pm PST
Causing as much damage as possible in Paperboy NT by is its own reward. 11/11/2016, 11:03pm PST
a beautiful breakdown NT by the best breakdown, so good 11/11/2016, 11:49pm PST
I never finished The Lost Levels, but I had more fun with them than I ever did by with Mario 2. 11/12/2016, 3:25am PST
Lost Levels? So insane mosochists hated Mario 2 by fabio 11/12/2016, 10:10am PST
I never figure out how to beat Double Dragon 3 by Fullofkittens 11/12/2016, 5:12am PST
figured* (EDIT BUTTON) NT by MY POST SUCKS: I HAVE TO WAIT 33 SE 11/12/2016, 5:13am PST
The last boss was the weakest point by fabio 11/12/2016, 10:01am PST
HOW DARE YOU by Rafiki 11/12/2016, 3:01pm PST
spinoff: NES games that still hold up today by fabio 07/18/2017, 8:48am PDT
Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! is probably the second- or third-best NES game. by Dream Cast 07/30/2017, 1:38pm PDT
Not everything has to be a pinball, Jerry NT by fabio 08/03/2017, 9:33pm PDT
Punch-Out!! is just enough like pinball when you're pulling the left and right NT by flippers to hit Bald Bull's bumpers 08/03/2017, 9:58pm PDT
I forgot Balloon FIght! by fabio 08/03/2017, 6:05pm PDT
I also just played possibly the bottom 3 NES game on emulation by fabio 08/03/2017, 6:08pm PDT
Dave Wise's White Album by Vested Id 08/03/2017, 8:24pm PDT
Should have included in my post by Vested Id 08/03/2017, 8:27pm PDT
I maintain that 8-bit NES's version was the peak Tetris. NT by Fullofkittens 08/09/2017, 6:03am PDT
AHH TENGEN OR NINTENDO though? NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 08/10/2017, 11:58pm PDT
Mario 2 > Mario 3 by FITE ME Stew 08/23/2017, 8:47pm PDT
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