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| LOST (TV) by Fussbett 10/02/2004, 4:46am PDT | ||||
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Lost was a reality show that ripped off the Amazing Race, but with the twist that the teams wouldn't know where they were. Being airlifted blindfolded to a remote part of an unknown country was pretty cool. They had a small amount of money and a cellphone, which had to be used to call the producers of the show, with the correct identification of the country so that the team could proceed to the next little quest. All the teams split up and most quickly identified the country as Mongolia. These two guidos stopped a passing (clearly Mongol) old man on a crusty motorcycle...
...and the man spoke no English, so they looked around his bike for clues. "Made is Russia"?!?! Are they in Russia?! Semi-stumped, they trying talking to the guy, using hand gestures like slapping the ground to represent "here" and "country" and "where". The old man spoke back in what I guess was Mongolian, and in the mess of clicks and squeeks, one of the words was "checkla". A breakthrough! One of the guidos figured that meant Czechoslovakia, and so he turned up the heat, repeating "Checkla?" and "Checklaslovakia?" to the old man, who nodded a "whatever" nod and said "checkla" back. Confirmed! As entertaining as I found that pilot episode, the show was cancelled, so forget about all that. I didn't pay any attention to this new LOST, this J. J. Abrams (Alias, Felicity) show, because one commercial was enough to turn me right off. It looks like a disaster mini-series, a plane crashing on an island. What is this, the 1970s? Besides, I can watch real people actually starve on Survivor. But the buzz persisted and then someone pointed out that something on the island is killing the survivors. Holy shit, it's a sci-fi/supernatural horror TV series! After getting the first two episodes from MILFCLAN (tvt.milfclan.com) I'm along for the ride. 48 survivors on a tropical island after a mysterious plane crash. They were off course so no help is coming. We learn about survivors views of the crash through flashbacks, which doesn't reveal very much. The show kicks off with flaming wreckage on the beach and several ridiculous explosions. One silly explosion is tempered by the fact that it's caused when a dude gets sucked into the still-spinning turbine. The cancer guy from Party of Five is running around saving lives and doctoring everyone. It turns out that he got a "5" tattoo on his shoulder to commemorate that great series. Nah, the tattoo has a different meaning, though not much better. We're introduced to most of the seemingly endless cast, each one more of a one dimensional caricature than the last. The bad boy, the angelic doctor, the sidekick lifeguard, the love interest (with a past :( ), the lovable fat guy, the baby-obssessed pregnant woman, the bitch princess who paints her toenails, the drug-addict rock musician, the repressed isolationist asians, the absentee black father and son, and as if to fly in the face of those who said it couldn't be done: AN IRAQI. Take that, John Kerry. Mission Accomplished. The characters are so hilariously one-note that in one scene a character does something slighty off-type, and everyone asks why, he replies "I'm complex". The suspense in the show is based upon a crazy GIANT sound and falling of trees just out of sight of the beach. Everyone freaks out, and those at home can't help but think "dinosaur". I pray to J. J. Abrams it's not a dinosaur because I may turn it off immediately upon that revelation. In episode 2 a victim's carcass gets left in a tree like so much Predator prey, so that's certainly a good non-dinosaur sign. Or at least a sign that it's some sort of angry mutant dinosaur, uninterested in eating the prey. Anyway, since I'm not watching Survivor this season, I'll probably watch this. |
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