|
by Quentin Beck 11/05/2007, 3:34pm PST |
|
 |
|
 |
|
PUBE ADVENTURES
I was about 11-12, my younger brother was 7, and my youngest brother was 4. I had fresh black pubes that were visible to at least 3m. Recently my mother had shamed me in front of most of my family in the spa by pointing out my armpit hair.
I was in the bath in a bathroom only I use and I should have been safe. Normally I was very quick to cover myself and normally I listen out for people passing by (skills that translated perfectly to my later masturbation sessions). My younger brother burst in. I couldn't get my hands over my dick quick enough, I can't remember why, and he saw my pubes. He started scream-laughing in between yells of "QB has a hairy dick! QB has a hairy dick!" I freaked that he was going to blow the lid off my pubes. The whole world would think I was becoming an ape! I bolted out of the bath, threw a towel around myself and ran after him. Fortunately, he ran screaming into my youngest brother's room (as opposed to downstairs where my Mum and sister were). This is fortunate because I was most concerned about what my Mum would say about my pubes: "Hairs on his dick? What a shame."
My younger brother had barred my youngest brother's door with my youngest brother behind it with him, but I pleaded with him to let me in and I sounded very serious and desperate so eventually he did. As soon as he opened up, I accused him of having pubes himself. He denied this, but I insisted he was full of shit. I told him to show us his dick and prove it or he was a liar. He eventually pulled his pants down and sat on the bed. If you looked very closely, in natural light you could see tiny blonde hairs THANK GOD. He actually hadn't realized this and the discovery shut him up completely. I don't know what my youngest brother made of all this.
I think shortly after this my legs started getting hairy, so the cat was out of the bag and I gave up trying to hide my puberty hair. Interestingly, my younger brother was probably slightly damaged by this incident because I remember him shaving his legs in his first year of high school and everyone teasing him about it.
QB in the present day:
I don't have a pube fetish, though, and two of my past girlfriends have had hairy armpits. The Romanian Gypsy girl I fell most in love didn't even shave her legs.
However, last month for a joke I pulled out one of my girlfriend's pubes as she was working at her laptop. I waved it in her face and jumped on my bed ready to get my ass kicked.
She thinks the only reason I do stupid shit like this is because I hate Asians and think I can treat them like shit. When she asks me later if I would do this kind of thing to a white girl, I say I've never done it before to any girl. See! I'm a racist cunt, then.
Immediately after getting plucked, she was furious and was lashing out at my face and calling me a motherfucker. I was laughing at her because she looked ridiculous and also because I had dropped the pube trying to defend myself (I was hoping to put it in her mouth to make her angrier). I knew she wouldn't stop until she had pulled out many more of my pubes as punishment because that is her nature.
I couldn't breathe properly because of the laughing and she got the upperhand in the fight. To really make me pay she grabbed onto a big lock of pubes and tried to yank them. This is stupid because you can't pull out that many pubes in one go. You've got to pull them out in smaller numbers but she so wanted to "teat this cunn a beeg leesson". If she couldn't get some pubes, she would slap me in the face (which is worse) so I tried telling her that she'd have to grab fewer pubes, but the advice cracked me up too much to communicate it properly, especially considering I was still defending myself.
When she got her hand down my pants the second or third time, she was pulling much harder but still grabbing locks, and as she pinched at some hairs, she also grabbed hold of the foreskin! I hear most Americans have their foreskins cut. This is stupid because the head is the most sensitive part of the penis and leaving it exposed against the elements for your entire life will deaden it. Your sex will feel less good. Perhaps that is why you don't masturbate very much.
Anyway, for those without a foreskin, the foreskin is connected to the base of the dick almost all the way up to the pisshole with band of stretchy tissue like what connects your tongue to the base of your mouth. When she yanked my foreskin, she cut into this tissue and stretched and bruised the flap itself (along with grazing the left side of my dick with her fingernail). I made a huge deal about this and was rolling around on the floor and she felt really bad about it. Common sense tells me there shouldn't have been any lasting damage, but I can't remember how much flap there was prior to the attack, and there seems to be a lot there now but it is probably just in my mind.
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
Penis - 6.5 inches NT by Quentin Beck 09/04/2007, 6:29pm PDT 
Pssh, my penis is 8 feet long. NT by Bubba the Blue Whale 09/04/2007, 9:34pm PDT 
No takers? I was sure worm was packing a lean 7+ inches. NT by Quentin Beck 09/05/2007, 6:37pm PDT 
Penis - 6.78 inches NT by Zseni 09/05/2007, 8:42pm PDT 
You can't measure envy in inches NT by OHHHHHHHHHHHH 09/05/2007, 8:45pm PDT 
If anyone is packing more (dick or envy) let him step forward. NT by Zseni 09/05/2007, 9:48pm PDT 
I am, but it doesn't count because I'm really a girl. NT by Mischief Maker 09/05/2007, 10:18pm PDT 
Ours don't count, but we're bigger than everyone else. by Zseni 09/05/2007, 11:08pm PDT 
No fat chix plx NT by Grumah, the helpful link-bot 09/06/2007, 2:59am PDT 
You can have an orgasm anywhere with a fat chick OH FOLD YOUR EAR NT by ADC 09/06/2007, 5:06am PDT 
Go out hoggin, fuck a big fat pig. NT by Da Diceman ohhhhhh 09/11/2007, 1:57am PDT 
I'm not touching this one with a ten-foot pole. by Jerry Whorebach 09/05/2007, 10:40pm PDT 
If I know what you are saying: by Grumah, the helpful link-bot 09/06/2007, 12:49am PDT 
My "hard disk" has Carmen San Diego on it, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'. NT by Jerry Whorebach 09/06/2007, 1:18pm PDT 
Fine. 8" Sometimes I hurt women without meaning to. NT by CattleHumper 09/06/2007, 12:21pm PDT 
You said my scrambled eggs sucked - I hardly think that's "without meaning to" NT by Zseni 09/06/2007, 4:29pm PDT 
Sometimes I hurt women, with clear intent. O___________________________________O NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 09/06/2007, 4:31pm PDT 
I wouldn't laugh at a man with a 5.5 inch cock. by Quentin Beck 09/06/2007, 9:51pm PDT 
If you didn't mean to hurt her you're not doing it right. NT by The Happiness Engine 09/06/2007, 10:21pm PDT 
To put things in perspective, I'm 6'8" tall, so it's not that excessive by CattleHumper 09/07/2007, 8:58am PDT 
It's not on the top of your head is it? NT by Worm 09/07/2007, 9:26am PDT 
Hahaha by laudablepuss 09/07/2007, 4:03pm PDT 
That's because you're a Worm kind of guy! by Worm 09/07/2007, 4:12pm PDT 
AAAAAAAH AIDS! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF! NT by laudablepuss 09/07/2007, 4:28pm PDT 
Being 6'8" is kind of excessive itself. NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 09/07/2007, 11:46am PDT 
I'm glad SOMEONE took this challenge seriously. NT by Jerry Whorebach 09/07/2007, 1:20pm PDT 
If you are above this challenge, you are below 6.5 inches. by Quentin Beck 09/10/2007, 3:16am PDT 
I have the smallest penis that anyone, man or woman, has ever admitted to having by Jerry Whorebach 09/10/2007, 3:46am PDT 
Six Inches! by Worm 09/10/2007, 2:27pm PDT 
Hey, we can be cock twins. NT by Jerry Whorebach 09/10/2007, 3:11pm PDT 
Is this a good time to mention that the little man defies measurement? by laudablepuss 09/10/2007, 3:24pm PDT 
I had to use a YARDSTICK. Because I don't own any other measuring devices :( NT by Jerry Whorebach 09/10/2007, 3:53pm PDT 
That's not what I meant by laudablepuss 09/10/2007, 4:09pm PDT 
Graduated Cylinders? NT by Worm 09/10/2007, 6:20pm PDT 
You're not supposed to be so matter of fact about this shit. by Quentin Beck 09/11/2007, 12:19am PDT 
So QB is a sex exhibitionist... it's always the last guy you would ever expect. NT by Will I ever see him the same way ag 09/11/2007, 1:09am PDT 
To the windows to the wall. NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 09/11/2007, 1:32am PDT 
AWESOME! If you get to clear the balls out of the way, I'm about 9" NT by From tip to asshole 09/11/2007, 2:40am PDT 
This man has the biggest taint I've ever seen. NT by Bob Odenkirk 09/11/2007, 2:48am PDT 
7", thin as a rail, I'd like to install "bumpers" along the sides NT by Gleen 09/10/2007, 4:15pm PDT 
Oh what a big man you are, hey let me buy you a pack of gum I'll show you how to NT by Richard Roma 09/11/2007, 2:20am PDT 
I think from my musical taste we can infer that mine is tiny. by Fullofkittens 09/10/2007, 4:54pm PDT 
You like men NT by Psycho Mantis 09/11/2007, 2:18am PDT 
Four touching penis adventures for kids - part 1 by Quentin Beck 09/11/2007, 8:53pm PDT 
Part 2? NT by Pi Is A Rational 09/12/2007, 8:57am PDT 
Caught ONLY 3 times?! NT by You're practically a jerk ninja! 09/12/2007, 10:50am PDT 
Being Caught By Your Own Mother Tops The Number of Times NT by Pi Is A Rational 09/12/2007, 11:04am PDT 
Touching penis adventures for kids - part 2 by Quentin Beck 11/05/2007, 3:34pm PST 
people with foreskins have a much greater chance of contracting STD's by you should watch out, whoremonger 11/05/2007, 4:03pm PST 
That's a myth. by Jerry Whorebach 11/05/2007, 5:00pm PST 
STDs are better than permanently numbed dicks. Such terrible, terrible dicks! NT by Quentin Beck 11/07/2007, 7:41pm PST 
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE INTERNET. SO COMFORTABLE AND WORTHWHILE NT by pube-obsessed syphilitic 11/06/2007, 8:26am PST 
What do you tell your girlfriend when you go prancing off to hookerland? NT by motherfuckerfoodeater 11/06/2007, 1:06pm PST 
with tophat, coattails and a cane. NT by Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis 11/06/2007, 8:27pm PST 
I say I don't intend to fuck whores, but I'd be kinda disappointed if I didn't. by Quentin Beck 11/07/2007, 7:40pm PST 
Somehow, your plan to get me laid sounds even less appealing than Zseni's by Jerry Whorebach 11/07/2007, 10:26pm PST 
I think QB's plan might also involve riding him. I read between the lines. NT by Fussbett 11/07/2007, 11:13pm PST 
Are you suggesting he's Willem Dafoe in Auto Focus? by Jerry Whorebach 11/08/2007, 1:27am PST 
Disappointing, Jerry. How often will dirty internet strangers invite you for se by Quentin Beck 11/08/2007, 10:09pm PST 
Disappointing, Jerry. How often will dirty internet strangers invite you for se by Ice Cream Jonsey 11/09/2007, 12:10am PST 
I'm in for $2 (CDN!) towards the Jerry Whorebackpack Fund. by Fussbett 11/09/2007, 12:24am PST 
Re: I'm in for $2 (CDN!) towards the Jerry Whorebackpack Fund. by Quentin Beck 11/13/2007, 6:12pm PST 
Oh, well as long as it's for an awful reason... NT by Fussbett 11/14/2007, 12:54pm PST 
Re: Disappointing, Jerry. How often will dirty internet strangers invite you for by Quentin Beck 11/13/2007, 6:10pm PST 
ICJ already made "Beyond Good and Evil" for you. NT by Fussbett 11/14/2007, 12:57pm PST 
oh, do they let sex trade felons NT by still work in banks? 11/14/2007, 2:06pm PST 
Whoring is a crime in boring countries like America? Too bad for your bankers. NT by Quentin Beck 11/15/2007, 4:50pm PST 
Don't forget to scarf down tons of Mongolian cheese. I hear it's awesome. NT by motherfuckerfoodeater 11/09/2007, 12:39am PST 
Is that a really really gross metaphor? NT by Mischief Maker 11/09/2007, 4:39am PST 
Re: Disappointing, Jerry. How often will dirty internet strangers invite you for by Mischief Maker 11/09/2007, 4:38am PST 
Thank you for clearing that up by Vested Id 11/08/2007, 11:48pm PST 
Actually, it sounds more like Willem Dafoe in Off Limits by I need clarification 11/14/2007, 3:58pm PST 
|
|