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by Ice Cream Jonsey 07/02/2026, 10:26am PDT |
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Jerry Whorebach wrote:
Yes I enjoy reading your list and look forward to the next blah blah blah. Let me get that out of the way first because I am ANGRY. There is not going to be any more praise for you before we are done here.
I had a dream. It was not about different colours of humans holding their hands but about you reviewing MCLA. You hated it! Which is understandable, because you wrote a really good post outlining exactly all of the problems that I had with it and you did too. But before I could either commiserate or give you TIPS for how to fix them you deleted it. This is how your post read in my head: the physics are not realistic blah blah blah it is too easy. Well, the game is about a hundred and something levels long. It gets harder later on, a bit. But more importantly you can flush your Xbox cache to delete the patch that made it too easy. Also the handling never gets anywhere close to even PS2 NASCAR sims but it is legitimately different for every car, and some of the first few are really weird. There are some good cars!
The thing is I read this post of yours when I was either blackout drunk or asleep. So I'm only about 20% sure it ever existed in the first place. Either a "YES" or "NO" whether it ever existed would be very much appreciated. Thank you.
I liked it, I liked how it started off with a bunch of guys giving each other shit because of their rides. We don't get that kind of interpersonal abuse in video games, often. We should. Gordon Freeman, Elexis Sinclaire, Mike from Jagged Alliance, Q*bert, John Madden. I don't know what kind of car any of these young Pharaohs drive. Well, wait, John Madden had the "Maddencruiser," so let's forget I put him on this list. I assure you, I've properly workshopped the rest of this. Midnight Club: Los Angeles has me initially selecting between one of two shitboxes and then the very next thing shown is a guy in an Argyle sweater IN LOS ANGELES (!!!!!) telling me that my decision-making is poor. A decision I was forced into!
I don't think Booke was exactly held at gunpoint when he was deciding between the argyle or the cable knit Irish fisherman's sweater from the wharf or the Steve Jobs black long turtleneck or full white-on-white biathalon gear discarded by Snow Job from G.I. Joe or other weather-inappropriate gear for when it is always 88 degrees and sunny. Glass houses, bro.
Making enough of myself as an adult to be able to drive the cars I want, instead of whatever cars I could get, this section of MC:LA was a nice throwback to driving around in wheeled garbage heaps. We have a community Dumpster where I live and it inexplicably has wheels. I'm not saying that it is a better ride than the first sedan we pick in MC:LA, but:
1) It's not fucking burgundy
2) It's opaque, so the cops can't look into it for evidence of crime, they'd have to go off suspicious smells, and it smells like garbage, natch.
Just kidding. I've driven unfortunate cars. Probably none as unfortunate as what we start out with in Midnight Club. But close.
In fact, there is only one guy who comes to mind in video games who we know has a car, at all times, and uses it and loves it.
The Duke! And the Duke never gets any kind of shit at all for what he drives, in fact, I don't remember him getting any kind of online abuse at al--
Lemme keep workshopping this. |
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The 100 Greatest Video Games of All-Time NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/16/2026, 10:56pm PDT 
Re: The 100 Greatest Video Games of All-Time by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/16/2026, 11:27pm PDT 
Finally the definitive, objectively true, list NT by E. L. Koba 06/18/2026, 2:56pm PDT 
My middle name was going to be "Objective" before by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/18/2026, 5:30pm PDT 
In an alternate universe with a different phonetic alphabet... by Entropy Stew 06/23/2026, 12:29am PDT 
100. Scorched Earth (1991, DOS) by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/16/2026, 11:28pm PDT 
I loved this one as a kid. There was a Mac version which was pretty good. by blackwater 06/20/2026, 3:11pm PDT 
Re: I loved this one as a kid. There was a Mac version which was pretty good. by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/22/2026, 10:06am PDT 
I was playing this shit on a Commodore in like second or third grade before that by Entropy Stew 06/23/2026, 12:35am PDT 
99. Mine Storm (1982, Vectrex) by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/17/2026, 10:26am PDT 
Yeah, no emulator gets that iconic vector look right. by Mischief Maker 06/17/2026, 1:04pm PDT 
It will appear later in the list! by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/17/2026, 1:30pm PDT 
98. NASCAR Racing 4 (2001, Windows 98) by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/17/2026, 11:20pm PDT 
A phenomenal choice. by pinback 06/18/2026, 5:46am PDT 
Puppygames made a version of that: by Mischief Maker 06/18/2026, 5:59pm PDT 
Dammit! That was supposed to be a reply to the paradroid post. NT by Mischief Maker 06/18/2026, 6:00pm PDT 
Oi! by Jerry Whorebach 06/30/2026, 1:13pm PDT 
A dream! What a week for dreamers ;) by Ice Cream Jonsey 07/02/2026, 10:26am PDT 
Best played via wide screen NT by Lonnie 07/02/2026, 10:54am PDT 
Driving shitboxes is my favorite part of racing games! by E. L. Koba 07/02/2026, 2:33pm PDT 
This week's free Epic Games Store game is I Have No Mouth and I Can't Scream by Jerry Whorebach 07/02/2026, 6:32pm PDT 
Re: This week's free Epic Games Store game is I Have No Mouth and I Can't Scream by Mysterio 07/02/2026, 9:01pm PDT 
Gah! That was me again. NT by Mischief Mysterio 07/02/2026, 9:02pm PDT 
I knew it was you. by Jerry Whorebach 07/03/2026, 2:45pm PDT 
Jerry is an expert on compliant asian women NT by Houseboat moored in Angeles City 07/03/2026, 7:08am PDT 
I saw the box before I knew what Ellison looked like in real life NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 07/06/2026, 11:53am PDT 
97. Paradroid (1985, Commodore 64) by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/18/2026, 5:29pm PDT 
96. The Legend of Zelda (1986, NES) by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/19/2026, 9:07pm PDT 
Did any other games get the gold cartridge treatment? NT by Mischief Maker 06/20/2026, 1:06pm PDT 
Z2 NT by judgement day 06/20/2026, 1:35pm PDT 
Action 52? NT by hehehe 06/20/2026, 9:29pm PDT 
95. Fatal Frame (2001, Playstation 2) by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/22/2026, 10:08pm PDT 
94. Metal Slug (1996, Neo-Geo) by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/26/2026, 8:09am PDT 
93. Rocket Jockey (1996, Windows 95) by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/26/2026, 9:09pm PDT 
92. Ketsui: Kizuna Jigoku Tachi (2003, Arcade) by Ice Cream Jonsey 06/30/2026, 9:34am PDT 
You should probably mention Ketsui's gimmick: by Mischief Maker 06/30/2026, 11:41am PDT 
A cruel gimmick. Toying with them first! NT by Dan Flashes Boss 06/30/2026, 3:24pm PDT 
91. Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 (1995, Arcade) by Ice Cream Jonsey 07/02/2026, 12:03pm PDT 
Enter the Ultimate Kombat Kode by Noob Saibot 07/04/2026, 2:39am PDT 
canned combos + run button NT by suked 07/04/2026, 2:59pm PDT 
Where can I listen to music that sounds like the MK3 soundtrack? Is it a genre? by Lobo 07/10/2026, 1:46am PDT 
Good question by Noob Saibot 07/11/2026, 2:38pm PDT 
Re: The 100 Greatest Video Games of All-Time by Ice Cream Jonsey 07/06/2026, 10:13am PDT 
Re: The 100 Greatest Video Games of All-Time by pinback 07/06/2026, 3:48pm PDT 
90. Paperboy (1985, Arcade) by Ice Cream Jonsey 07/06/2026, 9:12pm PDT 
Do you just find these on Craigslist? NT by Yaris 07/07/2026, 12:27pm PDT 
Re: Do you just find these on Craigslist? by Ice Cream Jonsey 07/07/2026, 9:15pm PDT 
This was one of the greats, I agree. by blackwater 07/07/2026, 4:16pm PDT 
89. Heroes of Might and Magic II: The Succession Wars (1996, DOS/Windows 95/Mac) by Ice Cream Jonsey 07/09/2026, 8:52am PDT 
How many spots above this is HoMM3 then? NT by the obvious question 07/09/2026, 8:19pm PDT 
Well. Shit. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 07/09/2026, 8:57pm PDT 
Five second rule! He can still change it if it happens before NT by the next entry! 07/11/2026, 5:39am PDT 
There are people who stick by HOMM2 over 3. Especially the music. NT by MM 07/11/2026, 5:55am PDT 
HoMM2 is the one I played when it came out, but, regarding franchises by Ice Cream Jonsey 07/11/2026, 9:11am PDT 
88. Links LS (1996, DOS) by Ice Cream Jonsey 07/13/2026, 8:51pm PDT 
87. Devil Daggers (2016, Windows 10) by Ice Cream Jonsey 07/13/2026, 9:12pm PDT 
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